When we hear the phrase to “let go,” it’s often considered to be applicable to feelings, emotions, or events that may not have gone our way. And the hardest part is that sometimes, the one thing we need to let go of is what we prized most of all. It's something we envisioned and created for our own benefit and future success.
For me, that one thing was — and still is — perfectionism. Throughout my academics, I’ve had a habit of always putting my 100% in every assignment. To me, that meant giving extreme attention to detail, spending long hours on each assignment, and not taking breaks (because they’re for the weak, right?). This work “ethic” of mine worked well in elementary and middle school, but when high school rolled around, things started to change. I noticed that I not only had more assignments but more material to know and apply for each of them.
So, I chugged along, never questioning what I was doing, until I was forced to. Essentially, I hit rock bottom in the form of burnout.
I started to slow down and felt tired more easily than I had before. I didn't want to accept the fact that I needed to step back in order to speed up. In other words, I needed to cut myself a break in order to perform for the long run.
When I came home from school, I’d take a 30- to 60-minute break (which I felt guilty about), then sit at my desk and study for seven or eight hours straight. I used to think that was normal (and I still do, albeit to a lesser degree) and something to be proud of. The catch was, though, that I was never completely proud of myself.
Looking back, I now know that was because I never respected myself enough. If you’re also dealing with getting rid of perfectionism and the feeling that everything needs to be done exceedingly well, listen closely:
“In order to win a war, you must be willing to lose a battle.”
One of my closest friends had said that to me, but what exactly does it mean? In the journey towards achieving a balanced lifestyle (which includes minimizing the guilt that seems to be a package deal with perfectionism) it really is important to let go and see the bigger picture. Life isn’t bound within high school and college as we often think it is; it’s everything after that! Doesn’t it make sense, then, to set yourself up for long-term success?
The war we have to win is that of living a truly balanced life for all of our upcoming years. And if the price that needs to be paid to achieve that is losing a battle (i.e. letting your grades drop a little, not doing an assignment as “perfectly” as you did before), know that it is more than OK — it’s justified. You have the right to live a life that leaves you feeling joyful, contented, and fulfilled.
If it takes time to understand that, it’s OK, don’t worry.
If it seems to take forever for it to get better, it’s OK, don’t worry.
Because at the end of it all, striving for balance will leave you more aware, present, happy, and productive. (If you have a hard time believing it, science proves it, too)!
So if you’re doubting beginning the journey of what seems to be the ever-elusive balanced life, remember that you’re not alone, help is always there, it will get better, and you will be proud of yourself.