Dear 13-year-old Carla,
I know you. I know you believe your life is pointless, worthless, unhappy, but I also know, that if you hadn't gone through any of the things you went through, you wouldn't be talking to you now, seven years older, experience behind her on how to deal with the constant pain in your chest.
Don't let people destroy your spirit. It's your most powerful weapon against your depression. I know it's all too much at once sometimes. Sometimes, you want to run so far away you won't have to see, hear, or remember the same people that want to make you suffer, that want to make you feel pathetic and bitter. The anger, the resentment, none of it is worth your time or your life, though. You have been hurt so much it's hard to have to keep getting up and taking more and more every day. I know what you feel, I remember their faces, I remember when you tried to change yourself so others would like you. Don't overcorrect yourself, you're perfect just the way you are. I know it.
Don't give in when people are tearing into you. Let yourself be free to feel. Cry if you need to, scream if you want to, laugh unapologetically and smile big because who you are is not going to ever let anyone attack you, attack your light, attack your life. Your smile is beautiful. You are beautiful. You are a girl who is slowly coming into her own, who's blossoming.
Don't dull your shine to give your friends attention. You can still make your friends feel beautiful while paying attention to yourself. You deserve the attention too, honey. You can do this. Life is difficult, I know you can feel it, but that's not discouragement, I promise. I'm urging you to stay and experience the world for yourself. You need that trip to Peru and New York with your future-best-friend Madison. You'll be in Austria and Germany in the summer of 2016. There are so many places you haven't seen that you're going to see soon. I know it seems so far away, but you can live through the turmoil, you can feel happiness, and you can let the world be your canvas. You have so much left to live, let yourself get there.
I want to tell you that you're stronger than you think, your heart is not broken, your enthusiasm lies within you, and you can do everything and anything that will make you happy. Don't run, don't hide, don't close yourself off from the real people that care about you. You will one day be happy and no one will be able to take that away from you. I love you, you need to know that. I love you so much and I'm so proud of you for staying in this world.