A Letter To The Woman I Hope To Become

A Letter To The Woman I Hope To Become

How is everything? Is it what we thought it would be?
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Hey you,

It's me! Well, me is you, but you get what I mean.

I hope everything is going well for you. Sometimes the things we planned don't work out, but I hope you got to accomplish everything we wanted to, or are at least on your way there.

I hope you roll over every morning and open your eyes to see the man of your dreams. I hope he pulls you close every morning and tells you how beautiful you are, even though we both know we're a hot mess when it comes to mornings.

I hope you drag your feet slowly across your bedroom floor as you walk to the bathroom. And when you look in the mirror, you smile to yourself. Maybe you have wrinkles by now. Maybe we should have moisturized a little more, but that's fine. I wonder what color your hair is now.

Did you ever decide you wanted to grow your nails long? Do we have tattoos? Do you still love them?

I do hope you have learned to love yourself by now.

After you brush your teeth and throw your hair up, I hope you get to kiss your beautiful babies good morning and help them get ready for school. They tell you they love you and hug you and scurry off to the bus.

Remember that perfect little neighborhood we hoped for? The one with the large houses, great neighbors, and the magazine worthy landscaping? Did we make it there?

As you get ready for work, I hope you're excited. I hope it's a job you love and not just something to help the family get by. Let me tell you, I'm working hard for this degree right now, I hope it pays off.

At the end of every day, whether it be watching movies with the family or working on whatever hobby you've picked up, I hope it's everything you want it to be.

I hope you've learned to stop living in the past and how to let people go. You remember: a lot of heartache came from people who don't deserve it. I'm dealing with it right now. Hopefully, you've gotten over it.

I hope you walk around with your head held high knowing that you are exactly who you want to be.

Above all, I just hope that you're happy. That's all we ever really wanted out of this life.

Love,

Me



Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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I'm A Woman And You Can't Convince Me Breastfeeding In Public Is OK In 2019

Sorry, not sorry.

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Lately, I have seen so many people going off on social media about how people shouldn't be upset with mothers breastfeeding in public. You know what? I disagree.

There's a huge difference between being modest while breastfeeding and just being straight up careless, trashy and disrespectful to those around you. Why don't you try popping out a boob without a baby attached to it and see how long it takes for you to get arrested for public indecency? Strange how that works, right?

So many people talking about it bring up the point of how we shouldn't "sexualize" breastfeeding and seeing a woman's breasts while doing so. Actually, all of these people are missing the point. It's not sexual, it's just purely immodest and disrespectful.

If you see a girl in a shirt cut too low, you call her a slut. If you see a celebrity post a nude photo, you call them immodest and a terrible role model. What makes you think that pulling out a breast in the middle of public is different, regardless of what you're doing with it?

If I'm eating in a restaurant, I would be disgusted if the person at the table next to me had their bare feet out while they were eating. It's just not appropriate. Neither is pulling out your breast for the entire general public to see.

Nobody asked you to put a blanket over your kid's head to feed them. Nobody asked you to go feed them in a dirty bathroom. But you don't need to basically be topless to feed your kid. Growing up, I watched my mom feed my younger siblings in public. She never shied away from it, but the way she did it was always tasteful and never drew attention. She would cover herself up while doing it. She would make sure that nothing inappropriate could be seen. She was lowkey about it.

Mindblowing, right? Wait, you can actually breastfeed in public and not have to show everyone what you're doing? What a revolutionary idea!

There is nothing wrong with feeding your baby. It's something you need to do, it's a part of life. But there is definitely something wrong with thinking it's fine to expose yourself to the entire world while doing it. Nobody wants to see it. Nobody cares if you're feeding your kid. Nobody cares if you're trying to make some sort of weird "feminist" statement by showing them your boobs.

Cover up. Be modest. Be mindful. Be respectful. Don't want to see my boobs? Good, I don't want to see yours either. Hard to believe, I know.

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Today Was A Bad Day, And That's OK

It's the little things that matter the most.

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Today was a bad day.

I had a nightmare last night. It was so vivid and realistic. Some nightmares I can easily forget about, but this one was difficult to push out of my mind. I woke up in cold sweats, my heart was beating fast. I genuinely felt sick to my stomach. I wish I had never dreamt what I had dreamt. The nightmare really messed me up. It was all I had thought about for most of the day.

I couldn't focus on my school work. I definitely couldn't stay focused in class. I had a pop quiz that I was not prepared for, and there was already too much built-up stress from just the past two weeks. I felt like I couldn't go on with the rest of my day. To keep it somewhat short, things just weren't going my way. I was being too hard on myself and my anxiety was through the roof.

As dramatic as it may seem, this nightmare was too personal, too scary, too heartbreaking, and not too far-fetched. Words cannot explain how dark I had felt today. It brought me to a place I thought I had moved on from.

Today was a bad day, and that's okay.

I got a call from my dad and a text from my mom, both encouraging me to move forward and not stress. There was reassurance in my dad's voice and through my mother's words. Words reassuring me they would always be there for me and loved me.

I took a trip to Gino's with my roommates. That burger was hitting, onion rings and all. These were the "perks" of my day, and though they don't seem like a lot, it meant the world to me.

It truly is the little things that can make your day. Like a call from your daddy, a text from your mama, or a trip to one of your favorite burger spots with some friends. The littlest things help you put things into perspective. These little things came to me at a point where I genuinely really needed them.

These little things distracted me from the most terrible and scarring nightmare. These little things are the things that remind me to move forward, ever stronger. These little things are the things that remind me you can turn a bad day into a good day, but only if you allow this.

Today was a bad day and there's no doubt that I will have many more. That's okay, because it's about the little things that really matter.

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