Dear Future Self,
Blonde hair, blue eyes, the loudest voice in the room. None of that has changed about you in the future, that I can guarantee. Not the tallest in the room but certainly not the shortest. All these physical attributes are ones that are out of your control as the days roll on. But there are some things that will change, and can change for you, that I promise.
That boy, the one you worried about for hours because he didn't text you back- he's irrelevant and never mattered in the first place. The world had plans for you bigger than you ever imagined and things just didn't work out because better things were in store. Those girls that were mean to you, and treated you like lesser of a person and pretended you didn't exist half the time, they will get what they deserve. Karma will do its job and serve them right, you just wait.
That bad grade you got Freshman Year, couldn't matter less. One below average mark does not keep you from moving forward onto better things, and all that time spent stressing and cramming was not worth it. Eat that piece of cake and go out wearing no makeup. You deserve happiness and you should know that by now. Everything you do in life, do it with the intention of making yourself happy before everyone else. I know that is hard for you to do, but as life goes on it will get a little easier.
Never stop making a difference. No matter how big or small, what you are doing does make a change in this world, and your hard work and determination never goes unnoticed. Those kids, those elders, all of those people's lives you've touched will never forget the impact you left on their hearts, and still continue to do. Your family, they love you, they always have and always will no matter what choices you make, both the good ones and especially the bad.
Your friends, the new and the old, they love you for you, so do not go trying to change who you are to please anyone else. They will accept you for all you are, and if some reason they don't- just walk away, because you simply do not need them in your life. Who cares if people judge you for your obsession with cats and everything Disney? They're just jealous they can't be a kid as long as you have. Stop trying so hard to please everyone. It's simply impossible. At the end of the day, if you are still alive it is a blessing, so thank your lucky stars and take a deep breathe.
Your "father" is the one still missing out after all of these years. You have so many men in your life who take his place and do it ten times better than he ever would, so stop letting it get to you. Just keep that "who cares" mentality and remember you are better off without him. Your Mom, your biggest fan and worst enemy all rolled into one. She loves you no matter what happens, so at the end of the day hug her. Don't go to bed mad and tell her how much she means to you. Don't hold any grudges. Everyone makes mistakes, especially you. Just take life day by day and leave yesterday in the past. The best thing you can do is live in the moment and deal with the cards you were handed.
Most importantly, learn to love yourself before others, and laugh often. Laughter will keep you going and love will always win in the end. Never stop smiling, even if you want to scream at the top of your lungs. Live your life to the fullest extent, with no regrets and an abundance of happiness.
Caitlin, the awkward, cat obsessed, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle fan girl