I remember the day I found out about you. I had been worried for a few days that something was wrong. Something was different. My chest was sore. My emotions were crazy. I was late. My mom bought me a pregnancy test. Nothing special. Just a dollar general one. I was scared to death.
I texted your daddy. We weren't together. We weren't even speaking to each other.
"How long has it been?"
"It's been weeks. Why?"
"I'm taking a pregnancy test. I'll text you later."
I went into the bathroom. I was more scared than I had ever been. I took the test and laid it down to wait. I expected it to take a few minutes like the box said. It didn't. It took just a few seconds...
"Why me? Why God? What did I do to deserve this? My life is ruined. I made the biggest mistake of my life. I'm just a KID. He's just a KID!"
My mom's face, when she ran in, was something I'll never forget. She went to get another test. A better one.
I told my best friend (He was my best friend at the time and your daddy's best friend)... And then I told your daddy...
We agreed to keep it a secret. I told him that I would graduate and raise you on my own. I was afraid to ruin his life...
But baby, your daddy wanted you. He wanted to be there for you. He was terrified and so young, but he was determined.
Two doctor's visits.
Two more tests.
Two more positive results.
With each passing day, our excitement grew. We were having a baby!
We loved you with every ounce of our beings.
Your daddy and I talked to you every day. Your daddy held you. His hand was always on my stomach. He kissed you and told you good morning and good night.
Your family was in love. All of your grandparents were in love once they had time for the news to settle in.
They bought you things, baby.
You were gonna be spoiled rotten.
Weeks go by. Bullying. Talking. Gossip..
You weren't our little secret anymore.
Your daddy and I walked proudly to school with the support of great friends. Everyone knew about you and we were happy as could be.
Until January 28, 2017.
I woke up a lot during the night the night before. I was staying with your daddy.
I woke up at 4:08 AM.
A little blood. Nothing concerning. Just spotting, right? Wrong.
A little after 9...
Lots of blood.
Something was wrong with you, baby. I knew it in my heart.
So we went to the hospital.
They rushed me straight back.
The first test they did was an ultrasound.
A second ultrasound.
All of them told me the same thing...
You were gone, baby.
Your daddy and I cried.
Our everything was gone.
You were the true love of our lives.
We lost you...
We cried so much.
We loved you.
We missed you.
We wanted you back.
I still do, baby.
I still cry so much.
I still love you.
I still miss you.
I still want you back.
You were never a mistake. No matter timing or age...you were our baby. We aren't sure why God took you away from us, but it's His plan...
I will never get over losing you.
Watch down over us from heaven, okay?
Because we will see you one day, baby.
We will come home to you one day.
We love you with all of our hearts...
Stay strong in God's arms...
Wait for us...
Live for us...
You were too beautiful for this world, baby...
With all of my love and until we meet again,