I want to start by thanking you for being such an integral and consistent part of my life for the past few years. Without you, I would have had ample time to do homework, get eight to nine hours of sleep per night, and to participate in several outdoor activities. But you taught me more important things — the significance of focus, dedication, and commitment. You provided me with the tools to succeed; I learned that I can complete seven seasons in two weeks if I give it my all and truly put my heart into it.
I felt like we were doing really well together. We were always on the same page and complimented each other in every way possible. I gave you all my love and attention; you made me happy and helped me forget about all the petty things in life, like exercise and studying. I hit you up multiple times a day, made you feel worthy and wanted; you satisfied me over and over again, kept me nonstop entertained.
The first time you failed me, I could handle it. People change, and that’s fine — I guess you just weren’t feeling "Greek" anymore and didn’t need that kind of presence in your life. It hurt because "Greek" was such an important part of my life, but, after a brief tantrum, I got over it and was quickly able to immerse myself in "One Tree Hill."
What you did to me just the other night, however, may be too much for me to handle in the long run. Getting rid of "Jane The Virgin" when I was one episode away from the completing the first season was not only devastating, it was completely heartless and unwarranted.
Maybe we got lost in translation, maybe I asked for too much? Either way, how did you want me to find out if Jane gets full custody of her unborn child? How am I supposed to know whether she ends up with Rafael or Michael or neither? Frankly, it’s unnerving to have to sit here and wonder when I should be able to spend my Tuesday evening learning the answers to all these questions. Sheryl Crow was clearly lying because it turns out the second cut is really the deepest.
I can try to understand why you did it. It’s possible you felt used. But think about how I felt when, from time to time, you sent me messages asking if I wanted to continue watching like you were second-guessing my intentions or questioning my judgment. To me, it felt like that was a symbol of your insecurity in our relationship. I gave you no indication that my interest was waning, yet you continued to probe me and seek confirmation in what we had. That was certainly upsetting and should’ve set off an alarm in my head, but I remained confident that we could work things out. Guess I’m too trusting.
I sit here now doing homework because there is nothing else I can think to do now that you have taken away something that truly mattered to me. Perhaps in time, I will feel different and we can give it another go, but for now, my trust is broken and my hopes for the future temporarily shattered.
Tomorrow might be a different story. I will probably be wondering what to do with my time because I will have midterm essays and I will need to pack for my upcoming trip this weekend. In other words, I will need to find a distraction, and you are so irresistible and tempting I might just give in. But just know — there’s this little thing called random-Internet-websites that might just take your place for good one day.