Dear My Not So Little Brother,

As I dreamt about going away to college I never thought of its impact on you. It was selfish of me really. I left you hours away trying to survive the harsh world known as high school. Balancing Trigonometry, Varsity Soccer and all your household chores plus mine. That was not very fair of me and I want to start by saying I’m so sorry.

I’m sorry that when I had this dream of going away to school that I was inconsiderate to how it would change your life. I always just thought I was a burden in your everyday life as a teenage boy. Setting a high expectation for you, always pushing you to new limits and not letting you do anything half asked. I’m your big sister that’s what I’m supposed to do, right?

Now that I’m gone, I have realized I was more than a pain in your butt when your homework wasn’t done and your teeth weren’t brushed long enough. I was your “cool mom”, taxi cab, private tutor, personal chef, piggy bank, editor, therapist, supporter and biggest fan. Now that I am away you have lost more than just your big sister and I have lost more than just my little brother.

Believe it or not, I love watching you play soccer despite it being 90 degrees and humid or below zero without a wind chill. I feel honored that you come to me for advice on what to say and how to say it. That you call me in times of trouble and trust me with your darkest secrets. How we fight over the sofa to watch our favorite TV shows and sing the theme song in perfect harmony every time it plays. Your kind of like my best friend.

Being away from you isn’t easy. I feel like every day we are apart, I miss a huge piece of your life. Every goal you score, every test you ace, every moment you crack one of your hilarious jokes or break out into song and dance. Those are the moments I hate to miss, the moments where you are you and the world thanks you for being just that.

I miss my daily dose of you and count the days till we can be reunited but until then remember this.

I am only a phone call away and when it comes down to it only a few hours away. Know that no matter the time of the day or the middle of the night I am and always will be here for you. Whether it be to help you practice for your Spanish speaking test while I’m working out in the gym or to just tell me how great you did on your essay you sent me to proofread. Call me to tell me how mom yelled at you for missing the bus again, let me know about that amazing assist you made in your last game, don’t leave out a single detail when you tell me all about the movie you went to saw.

Speaking to you via phone call or face time makes me feel like you aren’t so far away and that for even just a moment I forget that over 100 miles lie between us.

It’s hard to know that the next time I come home you will be three inches taller and will have little traces of facial hair on your chin. You’re supposed to be the little brother but now you will tower over me and make me feel as though I am the little sister. I guess that’s life though and I am so thankful to have you in mine. Watching you grow up is such as honor and know that although I am not always there physically watching you, that I am always your biggest fan and supporter no matter how far apart we may be.

I love you to the moon and back,

Your big sister that misses you more than you will ever know

P.S - Don't forget to feed the Guinea Pig