Dear Aaron,

I remember when you were first born and we took you home from the hospital. There's that picture of me laying next to you in mom's bed somewhere downstairs, and when I look at that picture it feels as if it was only yesterday. I'll see pictures of us when we were younger all around the house and think about how simpler things were for us. How all we had to worry about was which lunchable we wanted to eat before getting on the bus, and playing the Wii together.

Years go by and things changed.

As I grew up I was never really home. I started to drive. I had unreasonably late rehearsals for the shows I was in each year, and was practically never home. I had club requirements. I had chorale rehearsals. I had concerts. I always had something. I never really had free time.

At the same time you went down the same path but in a different way. You always had baseball games. Baseball practices. Baseball tryouts. Training sessions. You were always working hard at doing something you love to do.

Again, I was just constantly busy. I still am in a sense. I have a job, I always go on trips, I never sleep at home, and I'm constantly moving. I never spend quality time with you as much as I want to.

When we were in the middle school/high school age, you always asked me if I wanted to play Call of Duty and I ALWAYS said "Maybe later" and never joined you. You'd always ask me to do something and I never took the opportunity to spend time with my own brother. I hate myself for that. I truly do. I said terrible things to you in the past, and was just really a douche of an older brother at times.

I worry about you a lot sometimes. I know you're not the social kind of person and like to talk about things, and that is absolutely okay, but if you ever need someone I'm here for you. You're my brother and I care about you. I'm like Batman and your Robin, but let's be real you're probably Batman and I'm Robin.

Ever since I left for college we got a lot closer, and honestly I think there was a reason for that. With how close we are in age, yet not really, I think after living with each other for years we learned to enjoy each other's company once we were apart. I don't mind staying home at night and playing 2k, Fortnite, or Poker with you. I really enjoy it because it makes me really happy to have a brother like you. You're a great kid, Aaron.

I'm really glad things have been looking up for you this year. You're active, doing your work, doing what you love, hanging out with friends, and just being who you want to be. That's what makes me the happiest, is that you are doing what YOU want to do, not what others want you to do. I've always had people, even adults, take control over me and persuade me into doing stuff when I preferred doing other stuff or doing my own thing. NEVER let someone take over your life Aaron. If there's times where you need to do something for yourself you do it. I've faced those decisions. Heck, you know I tried to quit my school musical last year because I thought it would be better for my mental health and other reasons despite what other people said to me, but I tried because I knew what was best for ME.

That's the best advice I could give you man. Do what is best for YOU. I'm always here if you ever need someone to talk to or whatever. You're the man and I know you'll do great things in the future. I love you bro.

-Al