There's a saying about high school friends: "they come and go".
When we're younger, we don't believe that. It doesn't matter if our parents say it, our teachers, principals, etc. It doesn't matter. We look at our friends and neighbors in the classroom and we let out a chuckle. We think 'that's not going to happen because we're all so close.'
Now look at us; the class of 2016, 2017, 2018, and now 2019. Are you feeling the distance yet? Do you look at old pictures of your friends, teammates, and fellow fine arts members and wonder where the time went and what happened to the relationships? I do. The trip down memory lane hurts sometimes because I want to go back to it; when things weren't as complicated, there were smiles, road trips to whatever game, match, or contest. But reality sets in and you realize that everyone around you was right, and though they may not have said it, you can still hear the 'I told you so' lingering in the back of your head.
We've all grown up, matured, and moved on. Well, most of us. Some, or probably the majority, are still in the same town, at relatively the same job, and spending time with the same people. While the majority remain in high school in the back of their minds, the latter of the group moved onto bigger and better things. Some went to college and are working toward bachelor degrees, like myself, and others went to some type of vocational school to get whatever certification for a corresponding field. We're out here living our lives while the majority are still stuck where they started.
To those unrelated to this letter: If your hometown is anything like mine, some of the people that stayed have families of their own already; whether it happened during high school or just after. Some are already married and living their domesticated lives. Don't get me wrong, a domesticated life is fantastic. Eventually, I'll be there. But right now, I'm furthering my education to better provide for myself and future family. While some of my peers were irresponsible with certain choices and eventually had children at an early age, I can't imagine having a family that young. It honestly terrifies me because I know, to this day, I'm not ready for it. I'm sure they weren't either but some, minus the unfortunate miscarriages and even more unfortunate "secret" abortions, realized that they needed to open their eyes and grow up fast. And honestly, more power to them. They skipped quite a few steps to get there but they're doing their best.
The difference between most of my peers and I is that I have a timeline; go to school, graduate, go to school again, graduate with a bachelor's, jump into my career, rent an apartment/buy a house, and have a family. There's obviously "meet a guy" somewhere in there but that's better to achieve if it's not planned- we all know that.
Whether y'all have a family or are just stuck in our hometown for whatever truly no-good reason (I know because social media tells us a lot), I commend you. If you have a family already, holy crap, you're brave for starting early. You did something that I couldn't (and wouldn't..yet) do. If you're still there for "no reason", I'm sure you have one but.. is it worth it to hold yourself back from the truly endless possibilities that are waiting for you? Maybe, maybe not.
We all grow and mature at our own paces. Some aren't quite at that stage yet but again, at our own paces. There will come a time when we're all there and hopefully change the world; another thing that our parents, teachers, etc. would tell us.
Changing the pace of this article just a touch, here's some semi-personal "to so-and-so's".
To the, literal, handful of people I'm still in contact, or semi-contact, with: Somehow, we managed to be the exception to the "they come and go" standard. I was picky about my friends and still am because, to me, it's quality over quantity. It was never about how many "friends" I had because I never wanted to be in the "popular" crowd. I wanted to be liked by people who were genuine and liked the things I did, all while never having to be something they're not. This one is to the real friends; we don't hang out or talk nearly as much because we're all going down our own paths to success. But when we do, it's like we had talked or hung out only yesterday. Those are the friendships to have. Those are the friendships to aspire for; not the ones where you have to put on a fake smile and carry on the conversation in almost agonizing pain, wondering "when will this end?". This is for the real ones. Thank you to the handful. Y'all are the exception to "I don't miss you" because what is there to truly miss? You're still here. Y'all are amazing.
To the peers that I never really spent time with but we're strangely supportive of each other on social media: I see y'all. Aside from your posts on social media, I can see (now) that you're actually genuine people who had the same mindset I did in high school; quality over quantity, real over fake, just trying to stay focused on the finish line and never look back..except maybe once in a blue moon. It makes me wonder why we never hung out. Maybe because we all had a pre-dispositioned view of each other back then that led to the "f*ck you" attitude, though we never had a reason for it, did we? Or maybe since our cliques and interests at the time didn't intertwine, so the best we all got was a courteous smile or wave in the hall. Regardless, thank you for being somewhat in my life now. Even though it's on social media, I appreciate the same group of people consistently showing some kind of support. Y'all are cool. Y'all are seen. Granted, you always were but none of us ever made it too obvious. Still, y'all are appreciated. We're all different and doing our own things but I guarantee if we all got together and hung out, we would wreak havoc wherever we decided to go. Y'all are cool. Perhaps y'all are also the exception to the "I don't miss you".
To the guys who showed interest in me after graduation but made it seem like I was wearing the invisibility cloak beforehand: I get it. Maybe you changed and you're a different guy with a different mindset. Maybe that's true but how would I know? Don't get me wrong, I don't have any grudges or anything of the sort; not even curiosity. I just have the mindset of 'if you didn't try to be with me in high school, don't try now'. Maybe that's not fair because you're a "changed man", but you had the majority of high school to talk, make a move, or whatever. But you didn't. Maybe it was because my people didn't hang out with your people or I had my infamous resting bitch face, accidentally, plastered on, or immaturity got in the way. Regardless, it's not my loss and it's not yours; it's just life. We're both different people, overall, now. Live your best life with whoever you decide to share it with. I'll be rooting for you on the metaphorical sidelines like I always was on the literal ones.
To the people I spent almost every waking hour and Saturday with: I miss the memories we made; all the blood, sweat, and tears we put into a show, and the makeup that covered up the bruises for show time- whether we got a trophy out of it or not. I miss the laughs and, strangely enough, the fights. We always kept each other on our toes. I enjoyed growing as a performer beside all of you and all the goodbyes that followed. I miss the exhilarating feeling before a performance and, more importantly, the feeling after; wanting to congratulate each other with hugs but knowing none of us wanted to because we didn't want to share sweat. The memories we made are honestly just flashbulb memories in my head now, aside from pictures, but the only moments I can remember are the important ones; good and bad alike. Y'all made high school worth it for me. Band made it worth it for me. Without the crazy ups and downs, I probably would've gone crazy from boredom. Thank you for everything.
To everyone else: I'm sure you're doing great, whatever that may be for you. I'm sure you're thriving in whatever you're doing and if you're not, I'm sure you'll get there. We were a tenacious group, especially the class of 2016. We were the cause of SO many things that the faculty and staff were probably relieved they didn't have to deal with us anymore. I'm glad I got to share those moments with you. I'm glad we were able to raise hell together. I'm glad I got to share that stage, our last moment, with y'all.
To all: I hope you have a bright future. Though it's true, I don't miss you..most of you, but it's also true that I wouldn't be the person I am without any of you; even the people that were only acquaintances. We had a bigger influence on each other than most would ever admit. I'm glad y'all were in that chapter of my life. I'm thankful for those handful of people, and the social media supporters, for continuing the journey with me.
If any of you ever need a "friend", person to vent to, or want to catch up, it's not that hard to get ahold of me. Chances are, you're reading this on a social media outlet that we already share and that's how you accessed or were connected to this article/letter.
No matter what you choose, to contact or to not contact, our elders reigned true to the saying: "they come and go". We all know they were right. If we ever wanted to rectify that, now is surely the time. However, if we all choose to wait until the dreadful first high school reunion, if we even swallow the embarrassment to go, we can leave our pride and self-respect at the door and act exactly how we did in high school. Either way, that's life; reconnecting or otherwise.
I wish you all the best in your endeavors and all the happiness you can muster in these next chapters of your lives.
-Jordyn L.