So, your childhood wasn't the greatest. And you promised yourself you'd be nothing like your parents. But let's face it, you're probably a lot more like your parents than you ever thought you'd be. You're strict, controlling, and you rule with an iron fist. And even though you justify it all by saying you're protecting your kids, trust me when I say you're doing more harm than good.
Now, I don't have any kids, so I don't know what it's like to love someone so unconditionally and live with the constant fear of not doing enough, but from a kid's perspective, you should probably loosen the reins. Your kids need to make their own mistakes. This doesn't mean they're gonna go out and get high on every street drug they can get their hands on while simultaneously binge drinking from a stranger's liquor cabinet. It also doesn't mean that they're gonna drop out of school and run away with the boy they just met last week. But what it does mean is that you should trust them andyourself enough to know that you've done well as a parent. You've taught them right from wrong. You've shown them what it means to be a good, decent person. You've given them values and morals to live by. And you've provided for them and built structure in their lives. At some point, though, they need to be their own person. They need to learn things on their own, and some of those things will have to be learned the hard way, like failure and heartbreak. I'll admit, it's probably not gonna be easy for you to watch, but you have to let it happen.
See, the harsh reality is that you're not gonna be around forever. You can't protect your kids and shield them from the world forever. You can be there to catch them or pick them up when they fall, but you have to let them try on their own first. There's no way of knowing how much potential your children have, how far they can roam, how strong and capable they are, or how well you've taught them if they can't test the waters and see for themselves.
I say all of that to say this: your children may be your babies, but they're not babies anymore. Take a step back, give them some space, and let them grow into the people that you've helped them become. Allow them to make mistakes and fix them on their own, to learn that only they have to live with the consequences of their decisions and that they are capable of achieving something on their own and basking in the glow of their own success. Force them to be independent, strong-willed, and determined. Don't put them in a bubble and shelter them. Don't limit their dreams and abilities. And don't fear for their futures. You've done well as a parent. And you've paved the way for them to do well as your children and as human beings, too. They'll live a life you'll be proud of, especially if you give them the chance to do it.