Dearest Grandma,

August 10^th will mark the six year anniversary of your passing and we all still miss you incredibly. I see more and more of you in Mom and Auntie Karen with every passing day. As they age they grow wiser and wiser and I’m sure you’d be proud of the women they’re becoming. Mom actually got remarried two years ago. You’d like this guy; his name is Ben and he loves us both very much. The whole family’s taken a liking to him and he fits right in. We’ve even started seeing Uncle Chuck with increasing regularity. He too is doing well and grows wiser with age; though still a little rough around the edges, I know you’d be proud of him too.

Since August of 2011, a lot has changed for me too. I’ve matured substantially since I was 13 and I’m sure you’d be proud of me too. I finished middle school with flying colors and high school was over before I even had time to fully process it. I’m in college now studying to become a filmmaker. I’m finally writing better stories than those childish ones I used to make you read all the time. You were always supportive of me and my ambitions from a young age and I will forever be grateful for that.

Every so often while cleaning I’ll stumble upon something that makes me think about you. I still have a birthday card you gave me when I turned 7. The book mark you gave me with the dangling beads still sits on my bookshelf as decoration. I even have an old recording of your voice that I rediscover on my laptop every so often. Whenever I find it, Mom and I listen to it but we can only handle so much. It’s an old voicemail you left Cousin Leia. It’s not much but it’s enough to make us miss you even more. She’s doing well too by the way. She’s off in Illinois working her jobs and doing her thing. We see her surprisingly often too.

I also talk about you pretty regularly funnily enough. Mom and Auntie have told me tons of crazy stories about you from before I was born. Like how you almost blew up grandpa’s car because of a practical joke gone wrong, or how during a street fight involving Auntie and some neighborhood kids you ran into the street with a sledgehammer to keep cars from hitting them. Leia and I both are just like “That wasn’t my grandma.” But Mom and Auntie insist.

As I learn more about you I find myself wishing I really could have gotten to know you better. I regret that you knew me during such a self-centered portion of my life. Oh the questions I would ask you if you were still here today. There’s no use in despairing over the past but I still regret not saying anything to you on your deathbed. I guess some part of me expected you to recover and it wasn’t until you didn’t that I realized I’d missed my chance at a real goodbye. I’m sure you knew how much I loved and cared about you, but that will forever be one of my greatest regrets. I do my best to honor your memory in every way that I can though and I will continue to.

We all apply your philosophies and old sayings in our lives too. Some of my personal favorites include “You look better going than you do coming any day.”, “I was looking for a job when I found this one.”, “Don’t let the door hit ya where the Good Lord split ya.”, “You can never go wrong taking care of a child.”, and “Everything that’s mine is yours. But don’t make a fool out of me.” I think the value we all inherited the most, however, was the importance of people and relationships. You always cared about people and relationships more than you cared about money or objects. I see it in myself, I see it in your son, and I see it in your daughters. We all love people in a manner that you’d be overjoyed to see. Your legacy lives on that way. I miss you so much, Grandma. I’m always proud to say that Rubye Bradford was my grandmother and I always will be.

Sincerely,

Your Grandson,

Bradford Douglas