I remember receiving your last Snapchat, asking me how Germany was. I recall the anxiety I felt with that question and I avoided answering because of where my mental state was. I wanted to say it was the best experience I could have ever asked for or something to express a euphoric state, but the intensity of my current state and memories that were biting every inch of my body prevented me from a desire to respond.
The week I decided to respond to you and everyone that was asking, in a slow manner. I suddenly heard of your absence. You were missing and were being searched for. All I could do was talk to friends for updates and text you in hopes of receiving an answer.
Discovering a day later the truth and realizing you're physically gone was a devastating shock, especially across the globe, the same spot you were supposed to be that same summer.
In some way, you made your presence known that same day. For some reason I ended up at a bakery with pastries of your interest, representing the French culture you adored and the Lana Del Rey song that was playing as I sat down. An indicator that you are never truly gone.
Even after nine months since your passing, I would like to appreciate the individual you were. The appreciation you had for the present moment and your passion to discover the globe, through its locations, people, food and music. In each one of those aspects is where I can relive those memories with you, as can anyone else. I can feel your presence in the style you had, your way of being and the clothing you wore. You have left your imprint in my life and I look forward to reliving these shared memories. Your teachings will continue to have an impact and it will be a reminder to enjoy the present, as it is — a present.