We’ve all been there. We’re sitting at home, watching HGTV on a Saturday night, when we see a Snapchat story of our friends out and about. And then the thought crosses our mind, “They didn’t even invite me.”
We wonder endlessly (introverts are known to be over-thinkers) about why we weren’t invited, why we weren’t asked if we were planning on going, or why nobody inquired about our plans for the night.
The heartbreaking but so truthful answer is this: if they’re your real friends, they know you’ll say no. If you’re close with them and they know the inner-most workings of your soul, they already know that you’d rather be in bed with a book or Netflix. They aren’t stupid and they aren’t oblivious. They also don’t want to get their hopes up. They don’t want to pressure you.
And that’s okay. They aren’t angry. They ask the friends that they’re sure will go with them. They’ll ask the friends who won’t want to leave the party early. They’ll ask the convenient friends.
And sweetie, that’s okay. Don’t be the convenient friend. Don’t be the friend who’s “always down for a good time”. Just be the friend that’s there for the tough stuff, the meaningful stuff, the deep conversations. You don’t have to be the life of the party and your friends appreciate that about you. You’re the friend with the head on her shoulders, and people need friends like you.
Don’t you dare ever think about changing your amazing, anti-social, introverted ways. I’ll share this secret: They’ll come to you when you’re needed, not just when you’re wanted. A lot of the time, you’ll be the one that they need the most. You don’t let the pressure force you into uncomfortable situations, your head isn’t in the clouds, and you’re loyal.
When they don’t invite you, you’re still there. Maybe not at the party, but you’re there for the more important stuff. You’re there for the hangover. You’re listening to the stories they tell of what they did the night before that they regret so much. The convenient friend that they invited, let them do the stupid thing that they now regret.
You’re not the life of the party. You don’t get smashed every night of the weekend. You’re the friend that’s there for the hard stuff. Most friends don’t stick around for the day after. You’re needed, you’re wanted, and your friendship is valuable to them.