Dear Butthead,

There are far worse things I could have called you, and we both know you would deserve it, but I’m choosing to take the high road. I could go on and on about what a jerk you are; about how guilty you should feel for doing what you did. But we also both know that won’t do anything to your ego, or affect your future relationships. I won’t sit here and scold you, or tell you that you broke her. That you set fire to her heart and danced on the ashes. That you should pity her or think you had any impact on her confidence, her beauty or her spirit. But I will tell you this:

Do not dare pity her. For she was the sun and you were the dirt of the Earth. You needed her to grow and blossom.

Do not dare give yourself so much credit to think you or your actions changed her. Not her personality, her self-worth, or her strength. She is stronger because of you.

She just doesn’t know it yet.

My best friend is striking, insightful, and significant in ways you could never understand or hope to understand. She is worthy and strong. She was good to you in ways you never could have appreciated. She was your loss, not the other way around. You did not know her like I do, like I always have. I see someone capable of overcoming loss, who has done it before and will certainly do it again. I see someone who loves with her whole heart and nothing less.

She may not see it within herself but I do. I see a girl who is so much more than what you made her out to be. You were not what she needed. She needs – no, deserves – someone who loves her as much as her best friend does. Someone who never lets her forget how well she deserves to be treated. Someone who reminds her every day that she is good enough, because I know for a fact that she is. And so do you, whether you choose to admit it or not.

So if you see her in the future, blissfully happy with a new you; let her be. If you’re jealous or downhearted and think about reaching out to her, just let her be. Smile for her. Be grateful that she found someone who finally gave her the things you could not, for whatever reason. Be the man she knew you could be, deep down inside. If you loved her like you said you did, let her be. She deserves that much from you.

Sincerely,

Your Ex’s Best Friend