To My Girlfriend's Family From Her Trans Boyfriend

Dear loved ones of my loved one,

I'm sure you're experiencing, or have already experienced, a whirlwind of emotions upon discovering your precious daughter, sister, cousin, niece, etc. has become romantically involved with a transman. I'm sure you're shocked and confused, that's okay, let it out. All I ask is that you keep an open mind before shooting the idea down right away. I know your head is flooded with hundreds of questions, concerns, and thoughts.

I want you to know, up front, first and foremost, that I'm sorry. I'm sorry this is something so new and unknown that you now have to face and deal with. I'm sorry if it came as a kick in the gut that knocked the wind out of you or blindsided you in any way. I'm sorry you have to explain who and what I am to those who ask because you know that conversation will happen over and over again. I can't imagine the thoughts, fears, and concerns you are having about your daughter in regards to being romantically involved with someone like me.

I know you're nervous about the whole thing, but I can assure you that I'm working myself up much more than you can imagine. As the people that created, raised, and shaped the remarkable woman I so luckily have the opportunity to share life with, I yearn for your approval. You are the most important and influential people in her life, so no matter what, you will always be important to me as well, regardless of the relationship I share with you.

I know technically speaking, she is an adult and will pursue what she desires (we both know she will, with that stubborn yet determined mindset of hers), but I hope to have your approval anyway. I want you to know I'm an open book and I'm willing to answer any question you could possibly think of and communicate with you to your heart's desire. I'm sure you're wishing the circumstances were different and trust me, I wish that every day as well. I didn't ask for this complicated life and I wouldn't wish it upon my worst enemy, but these are the cards we've been dealt so let's play them.

She is so much stronger mentally than you could ever give her credit for, and it amazes me every day. Thankfully, this cruel world has not taken away her softness or compassion. When it comes to the scrutiny and ridicule I face due to being transgender, she takes it ten thousand times better than I ever could.

She is the one who keeps me calm and reminds me that those hateful words from others are just that; words. Whenever it comes down to it, she's always the first one to defend me no matter how big the opponent, no hesitation or questions asked. My confidence has skyrocketed with her around. She has shown me unconditional love when I was at my lowest and couldn't love myself, because of her I do love myself again. I can't begin to describe how refreshing it is to have someone who looks at me as a person, as a man, instead of a thing.

When it comes down to it, all background noise aside, I fell in love with your daughter. I couldn't have prevented that if I tried. You and I both know she is without a doubt, the greatest thing to ever grace this Earth. I know you're hesitant and maybe even skeptical about our relationship, but I need to drive it home that she is safe with me. I wish you could see the way I look at her and how I'm completely captivated by every little thing she does. I wish you knew how she single-handedly put all the stars in my sky and how she makes my day every day by just existing. I wish you knew how deeply I care about her and that I'm always keeping her best interests at heart.

She is always my #1 priority and nothing could ever take her place. I wish you knew how much fun we have together and how much I make her laugh with my terrible jokes. Her real, throaty, and slightly obnoxious but somehow still adorable laugh. You know the exact one I'm talking about, you can hear it now; head thrown back, eyes closed and squinted, mouth wide open with her hand on her stomach, that's the one. That beautiful, infectious laugh. I wish you knew how well we go together, and I promise I'm not just saying that. 90% of the time we don't even have to verbally speak to know exactly what the other is thinking or feeling.

She reads my mind and finishes my sentences, she truly is the best friend I've ever had. I wish you knew how happy we make each other, how rarely we fight, and how healthy our relationship is. I wish you knew how I catch my breath every time I look at her, her natural beauty leaves me in awe every time glance I get. I wish you knew how she makes me a better person, more every day than the one before, and how I only hope I do the same for her.

Above all, I want you to know, I need you to know that she's safe. I, myself, would never even think of doing anything in the world that would hurt her or jeopardize losing her. She is such a bright and radiant person, inside and out, I would never do anything to dim her light. Like everyone she's come across, my life is so much better because she is in it, and after tasting the perfection that life can be, I never want to go back to how things were without her around. I hope you can sleep peacefully at night knowing that while she's with me, I'm always doing everything in my power to protect her.

I know this is stomach turning to hear as a parent, especially when the child is their youngest, but I do love her with everything I have in me. It's real, but it's also pure, and I am so lucky to love her. I hope you know she'll never have to face any obstacle or problem alone, no matter how big or small. She's my teammate. I only want the absolute best for her and I promise I'll never let her stray from chasing her dreams.

What I love most about her is her free spirit that runs wild, I'll never try to cage that. The thought of seeing her upset turns my stomach and I would much rather feel any amount of pain myself than for her to have to. She is the light of my life, I will never find another like her, so I can promise you wholeheartedly that I'll do all I can to keep that beautiful smile on her face.

Being transgender in no way, shape, or form, inhibits my ability to love and cherish your daughter with every fiber of my being. If anything, the unconditional love she has shown me despite who I am has only made me more capable of doing so. No matter what body I have, it always has been and always will be her. I'm not trying to take anyone's place, because no one can take your place, that's just that.

But at the end of the day and with all due respect, I love your daughter and I would never dream of leaving her side, I'm not going anywhere. I hope you're damn proud, you did an outstanding job raising such a caring and selfless woman. She is the most beautiful and radiant individual I've ever had the privilege of meeting, right down to her soul. I promise you she's in good hands.

You have given me the greatest gift I could ever receive and so much more, all I can say is thank you.

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