Dear lucky guy,
So here's the deal... you've somehow landed the smartest, most kind-hearted, hard working, beautiful inside-and-out girl there is. So I guess that means you're an okay guy.
Not to scare you, (okay, maybe to scare you a little) but I know way more about you than you probably want me to. I've stalked you to the point where I know what your first tweet/Instagram picture was, I've seen just about every Facebook picture you've ever been tagged in, I've heard about why it didn't work out with your last few girlfriends and I've even read every cheesy flirtatious text you've sent to my best friend. So basically kid, you want me on your side.
As part of the package that comes along with dating my best friend, I have extremely high expectations of you. She deserves to be taken out on fun adventures, surprised with her favorite coffee, challenged, inspired and most importantly, genuinely adored. Don't be some boring, clingy guy with no aspirations in life. Most importantly, don't hurt her. She's been hurt before and I really don't want to ruin your life, believe me kid, I like you - I really do, but I can and will ruin you if you make her cry.
She's my person. We watch cheesy movies and cry at 3 a.m. together for no reason. We have the weirdest, most personal conversations that you probably don't ever want to hear. We drop anything and everything for each other at any time of any day. If something good happens to the other, we both share that joy. So you hurt her, you hurt me.
In the end, all I want is my best friend's happiness, so I'm okay that you're here. This isn't a competition and we won't be fighting for her love and attention, in fact, I really do want to be your friend. Just know that I'll be tagging along while you two hang out, making fun of you, talking about personal things in front of you and always making sure you're treating her right. You are one lucky guy and I'll never let you forget that.
Sincerely,
Your girlfriend's overprotective best friend
