An Open Letter To The Beautiful People Who Are No Longer In My Life

An Open Letter To The Beautiful People Who Are No Longer In My Life

I'm wishing you happiness from afar.

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How are you? How is your life? How is your heart? Have you learned any valuable lessons since the last time we spoke? Have you found purpose in your reflection? Have you found passion and excitement? Have you found compelling love? Have you embraced your inner beauty? Have you found a source of guidance and reason to keep fighting the battle of life? I want you to truly explore these questions. Most answer with short and meaningless adjectives, but I want you to be able to answer with a paragraph at least, including intense detail. I hope you are surrounded by people who ask an annoying amount of questions, who take time to LISTEN to the answers you provide.

Although I may never know the answers to my questions, I am hoping with everything inside of me that you are doing wonderfully. I hope you are doing so well that you have not given one thought to your past, especially the people in it, including myself. You deserve a life that you become so invested in you forget who you used to be, you forget the demons you used to face, and you forget the memories that do not satisfy your heart anymore. I hope you are filled with an overbearing amount of care from those who are fortunate enough to be introduced to the depths of your soul.

I want you to know, I have not forgotten about you. I still think of you. I still think of the boisterous laughs we shared. I still think of the conversations that have made powerful impacts on my heart. I still think of the specialness you carried in my life. I still think of the connection I felt with you that I cannot find in others. You were once the presence that my life consumed. We were in each other's lives for reasons that I hope you have found. Peace will always find you wherever you go. Sometimes it will be unnoticeable, sometimes you must search for it in the midst of chaos, but it will be present. Maybe our paths will cross once again when our lives are different, when WE are different. But until then, know that I would still be there for you in a heartbeat. Thank you for challenging my opinions, my arguments, my feelings, and my stubbornness. Thank you for pointing out flaws I needed to work on. Thank you for making me a better person. You have given me valuable perspectives and renewed many visions of life.

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An Open Letter To My Unexpected Best Friend

You came out of nowhere and changed my life for the better.
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“It’s so amazing when someone comes to your life and you expect nothing out of it but suddenly there right in front of you is everything you ever need.”

-Unknown

Dear Unexpected Best Friend,

You were the person I never thought I would speak to and now you are my very best friend. You came out of nowhere and changed my life for the better. I can’t thank you enough for everything you have done to shape me into the person I am today. You’ve taught me what it means to be selfless, caring, patient, and more importantly adventurous.

You don’t realize how much better my life has become and all because you came out of nowhere. I didn’t see you coming. I just saw you on occasion, and now I can’t see my life without you in it. It’s funny how life works itself out like that. Our unexpected friendship filled a hole in my life that I didn’t know existed.

I don’t even remember what life was like before you came along; it most likely had a lot less laughter and spontaneity than it does today. I can call you about anything and you would drop whatever you're doing to help me in any situation. You know when I need encouragement. You know when I am at my best and when I am at my worst. You always know exactly what to say.

SEE ALSO: 8 Tiny Lies Every Young Woman Has Told Their Best Friend

I couldn’t have found a better friend than you if I tried. We balance each other out in the best way possible. You are most definitely the ying to my yang, and I don’t care how cliché that sounds. Because of you, I’ve learned to stop caring what people think and to do my own thing regardless of any backlash I might receive. You are my very favorite part of what makes me who I am to this day.

It’s as if I wished up a best friend, and poof—you appeared right in front of me. I am so beyond blessed to have you and I wouldn’t trade the world for all our memories. Thanks for coming out of nowhere.

Love you forever and a day.

Cover Image Credit: Lauren Medders

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In 2019 We Are Redefining Self-Care Because Life Is Not Toxic, Your Attitude Is

Nothing is more important than taking care of your mental health. Period. But think twice before cutting someone out of your life and deeming them "toxic"

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"When we self-regulate well, we are better able to control the trajectory of our emotional lives and resulting actions based on our values and sense of purpose."
-Amy Leigh Mercree

With the new year inspiring all part of our lives, it's important to address this idea of 'self-care' that is so widely preached. Self-care, simply defined, is the practice of taking an active role in protecting one's own well-being and happiness, in particular during periods of stress. However, these lines have seemed to be blurred to a significant extent lately.

Our society has taken a few steps back in the treatment of our fellow peers lately. Whether it's the force of authoritarian violence, neo-nazi rallies, objectification of women, or denial of human rights to various non-dominant groups-- there is no denying that America has some strides to make. But how?

How, in such an individualistic society, do we learn that depending on people is a vulnerable strength rather than a weakness? In a country that places emphasis on being self-made, we are trained to believe that any form of codependency makes one weaker. So, we practice "self-care". We cut off those confrontational friends that try to change our life plans. We toss the relationships that don't support us in every decision we make. We quit jobs that make us unhappy after three weeks. We label everything as "toxic" when in reality it's just something that has denied us of that American instant gratification we crave so innately.

Relationships, whether friendships, intimate connections, or professional careers are not a singular commitment. So many apathetic actions are cloaked under this blanket of "self-care". There is a limit between watching out for your mental health and using it as an underlying excuse to hurt those around you. Just because you are troubled for a short period doesn't always mean that the person is "toxic" to you. Sometimes, it serves as an indicator that this relationship is worth working through and working for.

Now, I am a huge proponent for taking care of yourself in daily activities! Through a life of mindfulness and meditation, memories with good friends, and hobbies that fulfill you, it is still important to check in with yourself and see what attitudes need to be managed. But instead of making rash decisions and dropping everyone around you in your life, take these feelings inwards and work on yourself. If you feel a relationship not working, ask yourself whether its a conflict of interest or ideology, maybe even a miscommunication--instead of breaking things off and insisting you're an "independent woman" who was "being held back". There is pride in working through issues, but only if you allow yourself to be codependent.

This is by far my greatest struggle in life. The second things go wrong in a relationship, I just convince myself that I am independent--I was on my own before and I can sure as hell do it again! I convince myself that the other person just wasn't "the one" or that "if my friendships are meant to be, they'll just...be?" I'm here to tell you that I understand what it's like being an independent person trying to let people in. But please, just don't use your inability to transparently work through issues as "self-care."

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