In honor of the Netflix release of "13 Reasons Why"-

This is a series of 13 letters, this is number one. A series of 13 letters to let you guys know a bit more into my life and my past. Something(s) I never talk about for good reason.

This is not to only one person, if you feel affected by this take a look in the mirror.

You always taught me in life there is always a struggle, but how do you survive when your life is a constant struggle?

When I was 13, I was starting to figure out who I was. You didn't always understand me and I guess that made me want to rebel even more. You always made me feel like there was this extra pressure on me to do well, and when I didn't hold up to my end of the bargain you always found ways to make me feel like shit. This pressure continued until I was in high school. I continued to rebel, but I always tried to please you. Good grades and all -- I still felt like I had something to prove. I didn't even want to prove anything to myself, I wanted to prove it to you. In high school I was thriving to be the very best, got mostly A's, was loved by my teachers, graduated early. So what if the worst thing I did was picked up a cigarette to deal with the stress because all I wanted to do was prove myself to you.

During this time in high school, I was also very depressed. I didn't self harm in places you were able to see anymore. I got more creative on where to hide them, but I didn't stop cutting myself until my junior year. You forgot I was there, the only time you conveniently remembered was when you had something to lecture me about. But, I was just doing what I thought had to be done.

So to whom this may concern, if one day I leave this washed up town. I'm not coming back.