I consider myself to be a simple, low-maintenance person, so being engaged has been pretty overwhelming. There are an insane amount of questions, "traditions," parties and expectations that fall under this new title of "fiancée." My mind can't really comprehend everything that has to be done, why people ask the things that they do or what I would actually want. There are a few people in my life that are currently engaged as well or recently married, so I have had the opportunity to watch from the sidelines and observe everyone else's style. I'll be honest, it all freaks me out and I can safely say that common practices aren't my thing.

Here is why:

The Question:

With the big question comes a lot of little questions. After a few hours of quality time spent with your new fiancé, the little ones start to role in. People will ask for the wedding date or the wedding location. They will ask to hear the engagement story. They will say, "Well, let me see it!" and expect you to flash the ring about in an odd manor (you know, the one way where the left hand is extended towards their face). This ring question is a little more welcomed than the others, but how could people possibly expect us to know the wedding date five hours after the proposal? I honestly don't have a single clue. I usually just kind of stare for a moment all wide eye and respond with an "I don't know, he just proposed" remark.

I have been engaged for one month now and I have had to repeat that story more times than I can count. And I'm sure there are countless more times to come. At first, it's kind of exciting to share that, especially with loved ones, but as time moves forward you kind of lose interest. Little details will slip through the cracks and become forgotten, the story will shorten from five minutes to one, and it won't sound the same as the first time. Some people have been kind of enough to respect that the story isn't perfect, but some expect details or photos. Also, always be prepared for the ring question during your story, they expect to hear all about that as well.

Wedding date/location

Some people might have been planning their wedding since they were little or when the couple started dating, but many have no idea as to what they want until it happens. At least, I don't. I probably hear this question at least a few times a day and from my family, too! Although it has been a month, we still don't know and honestly haven't discussed it too much. This is probably because we both don't care to have a traditional wedding, but also because we don't really want to think about it. Why can't it just be simple and sweet? There are so many decisions and ideas to think of. It's a bit intense.

Traditions are great and they certainly have a place in culture, but I generally choose to do my own thing. This will cause controversy among family members and friends because they will react as if I am breaking some sort of law. This just shows that traditions can feel more like rules then guidelines.

The Ring

This one has always blown my mind. One, I am not a "flashy" kind of person and I rather have something more personal and two, diamonds as engagement rings is false. The demand for diamonds was artificially fabricated by a company of the name De Beers. They imprinted in the minds of Americans that the only way to truly measure a mans love was by proposing with a diamond because "diamonds last forever". I was perfectly happy with the necklace I received in place. So, you can imagine the hilarious reactions I receive when people ask to see the ring (I do enjoy that part most). I will eventually have an engagement ring, but it will not be a diamond nor will it be something "flashy," but instead be something special to the both of us.

The Parties

First, there is the engagement party; then there is the bridal shower followed by the bachelor/bachelorette parties, and then a couple's party. Plus, before the event, you have a rehearsal party, and then the wedding ending with a reception. Seven parties. Seven parties to pay for, plan for, invite people to, and the list goes on. That is way too much stress for myself, my fiancé, my family and friends. I am already becoming overwhelmed by attending these parties of others, let alone my own!

Now, not everyone hosts these parties or they will downsize and squish them altogether, which is great! But personally, I couldn't handle all of that. Having to dress nice (and not the same outfit each time), pick out food to serve, decorations, and so on. My mind isn't set up that way so, I rather just have random ones or none at all.

Disclaimer: Yes, I am not fond of wedding traditions, but if you are, then go for it and enjoy it! I definitely don't mind attending, if I'm invited!