Let's Talk About: Love

Let's Talk About: Love

I haven’t found the one yet.
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Welcome to the third installment of the “Let’s Talk About Series”. This is the series where I talk collectively about some of the thoughts, fears and my own inadequacies I currently have with my life. Hopefully I can help the rest of you feel better about yourself.

On February 23rd of this year, I cried for the first time in a very long time. No it wasn’t because I lost my “love” as this title suggests. It’s because I think I finally found the answer to the question that everyone is asking. What is love? Rather than giving my own words I’ll let you in on some pointers from my professor.

In my class this previous week my professor gave each of his students a copy of his late husband’s drawing. When he presented everyone with this picture I heard the shakiness in his voice and the tears beginning to form in his eyes. Now you may be wondering how this event even has anything to do with love? His tears were of sadness and love. This combination of commitment, intimacy, and passion preceded through death and was/is still felt. I am not that close to my professor but one can only think about the years of memories that flooded his mind when he pulled the picture up on the slide.

It’s foolish to think of “Love” as something that is just shared between romantic partners. Love can spread and define many relationships. Relationships with your family, friends, and even religion. For the sake of this article I’ll just focus on “romantic love”. For all of you single folk who happened to be reading my article. Don’t fret because I am in the same boat as you. Our love for those french fries going to our thighs is the best kind of Love in my opinion. I also heard that the Shamrock shake is back at McDonald’s.

Back to the initial question; What is love? Love is something developed through experience and time. Sorry to break the news to you. Your knight in shining armor isn’t going to just stroll up in their 2006 Grand AM and ask you to marry them after first meeting. Your “love at first sight” just picked their nose in front of you. Did you already fall out of love? Like I said before Love, is not a “you know when you know” sort of thing. It’s a reaction based on impulses and carelessness.

I haven’t found the one yet. Maybe it is because you haven’t taken the time to grow to love the one that’s pursuing you. Maybe you haven’t taken the time to love and improve yourself.

Love comes and develops with time. Love is the intersectionality of high levels of commitment, intimacy, and passion. When you find that that is when you find the one.









Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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Why You Should Stop Chasing Him

You deserve better.
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They say “the thrill of the chase" makes someone more enticing. There's just something about wanting something you can't have that drives you crazy (in a good way). There is never a dull moment. Pursuing him is a challenge. Nothing comes easily. What's the fun in that anyway?

I'm going to tell you this: stop chasing him. Stop forgiving him when he forgets to answer your text messages and phone calls. Stop being the one to always make plans. Stop letting him bail on you. Stop waiting around for him. Stop being lied to. Stop making excuses when he doesn't make time for you. There is a difference between someone who is “hard to get" and a flat out jerk who doesn't give you the time of day. Stop letting him use you.

You deserve to be with someone who makes you fall asleep every night in the middle of texting him because neither of you want the conversation to end. You deserve someone who plans dates for the two of you. You deserve someone who asks you to hang out before midnight. You deserve someone who wants to spend time with you just as much as you do with them. You deserve someone who insists on paying for your ice cream. You deserve someone who won't deceive you. You deserve someone who is straightforward. You deserve attention. You deserve affection. You deserve a partnership that is mutual, not one-sided. You deserve to be chased.

You are better than 3 a.m. “Hey" texts. You are better than a night spent watching a movie just to fool around. You are better than trying to decode his vague messages. You are better than his shadiness. You are better than mind games. You are better than being ignored.

If you have to chase him, he's not worth it. Don't settle for someone who makes you beg for his attention. If he is genuinely interested in getting to know you, he will put in the effort. A relationship where your feelings are reciprocated is far more rewarding than one where you constantly feel like you have to drag him along.

Change your mentality. Become more independent. Be confident, be bold. Find happiness in being alone. Don't waste your time pathetically chasing after someone who doesn't feel the same, but doesn't have the heart or the courage to tell you so. Your self-confidence and positivity will make you radiant, and eventually, you will attract the kind of guy who is mature enough to not mess with your head.

Cover Image Credit: weheartit.com

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12 You Should Know About Your Significant Other After You've Been Dating 12 Months Or More

You have multiple food orders memorized.

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Dating someone for a year+ means that you are bound to know things you might not have known in the early months of the relationship. You also might act differently than you did at the beginning of the relationship.

Here are 12 things you know when you've been dating for over a year.

1. Clothing size, shoe size

This one you can probably be able to figure out early in the relationship. But, you start to keep in the back of your mind and think of that person when you see clothes or a pair of shoes they might like.

2. You can guess what they are going to text back

Especially if it is just a casual conversation about nothing in particular. You know their go-to responses.

3. You have multiple food orders memorized

Their food orders, of course.

4. You have that one TV show you can put on and neither of you will complain

And that is "The Office."

5. You don't get jealous

How could you have lasted in a relationship for over a year and not have any trust?

6. You know likes and dislikes

And can assume if they are going to like or dislike something.

7. You got a LONG Snapstreak

474 day streak over here.

8. Their successes make you just as happy as it makes them

Seeing your significant other do well and accomplish something great is just as rewarding as if you had done the same.

9. Your friends are his friends and his friends are your friends

And you can all hang out together.

10. You have your favorite restaurants

That we always end up going to.

11. You've met everyone in the family and extended family

And you feel like part of the family.

12. You know extremely personal things about each other

That you would not necessarily share with the public.

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