Welcome to the third installment of the “Let’s Talk About Series”. This is the series where I talk collectively about some of the thoughts, fears and my own inadequacies I currently have with my life. Hopefully I can help the rest of you feel better about yourself.

On February 23rd of this year, I cried for the first time in a very long time. No it wasn’t because I lost my “love” as this title suggests. It’s because I think I finally found the answer to the question that everyone is asking. What is love? Rather than giving my own words I’ll let you in on some pointers from my professor.

In my class this previous week my professor gave each of his students a copy of his late husband’s drawing. When he presented everyone with this picture I heard the shakiness in his voice and the tears beginning to form in his eyes. Now you may be wondering how this event even has anything to do with love? His tears were of sadness and love. This combination of commitment, intimacy, and passion preceded through death and was/is still felt. I am not that close to my professor but one can only think about the years of memories that flooded his mind when he pulled the picture up on the slide.

It’s foolish to think of “Love” as something that is just shared between romantic partners. Love can spread and define many relationships. Relationships with your family, friends, and even religion. For the sake of this article I’ll just focus on “romantic love”. For all of you single folk who happened to be reading my article. Don’t fret because I am in the same boat as you. Our love for those french fries going to our thighs is the best kind of Love in my opinion. I also heard that the Shamrock shake is back at McDonald’s.

Back to the initial question; What is love? Love is something developed through experience and time. Sorry to break the news to you. Your knight in shining armor isn’t going to just stroll up in their 2006 Grand AM and ask you to marry them after first meeting. Your “love at first sight” just picked their nose in front of you. Did you already fall out of love? Like I said before Love, is not a “you know when you know” sort of thing. It’s a reaction based on impulses and carelessness.

I haven’t found the one yet. Maybe it is because you haven’t taken the time to grow to love the one that’s pursuing you. Maybe you haven’t taken the time to love and improve yourself.

Love comes and develops with time. Love is the intersectionality of high levels of commitment, intimacy, and passion. When you find that that is when you find the one.