Sex should not be a taboo subject. It is a topic that should be talked everywhere with young teenagers to even as you’re an old, married couple. We should be able to have open dialogues about sex because that’s what promotes healthy and happy sexual lives. Unfortunately, that’s not the way it always is. A lot of people still lack basic sexual health knowledge that can help them in their well-being.

This is a basic, but well thought list of tips for a happy sexual health life.

1. CONSENT

I cannot stress how critical consent is, which is why it’s capitalized and bolded. You must get a definitive, positive response from your partner. It is a must when it comes to any sexual relationship. If an individual is under the influence of alcohol, drugs, sleeping, or any other time when they cannot respond, they cannot give consent.

2. Communication

This can also go hand-in-hand with consent, but it does entail different aspects. Telling your partner(s) what you like or don’t like is what leads to a better sexual experience. You must be open before you actually do anything, and even while you are actually doing something. This might be a little comfortable for some people, but if you’re uncomfortable talking about sex, you also probably should not be having sex.

3. Listening and Look

You must listen to your partner(s) and their body language reactions if you are the one performing. Make sure you do what they react positively towards and are expressing what they life. Note certain actions like tensing up, trembling, or maybe smiling and the best - moaning.

4. Contraceptives

Condoms, the pill, IUD. There’s so many types of contraceptives, how do you know which is the best type for you? Sadly, I cannot answer that question for you. You know yourself better than anyone, and your doctor is there for any health questions for you. Call your general doctor to talk about this or go to a gynecologist. They know what they’re doing, and they did go to medical school for a long time for a reason. If you can’t do this or know where to start, talk to a trusted adult. There are also many websites and resources you can go to before actually taking action.

5. “Know your options”

By this, I mean an unexpected pregnancy. It totally happens. You think it won’t, but it might (which is why contraceptives is so important!) But if it does, know your options. There are also so many resources that can help you with this despite our current political climate. Whatever your belief is, know you do and should have a choice. You will always have people supporting you whatever you decide to do.

6. Testing

This can also be quite uncomfortable, but this is something that should be known when you’re having sex. Get tested. Have your partner(s) tested. If you’re with someone new, find out this information because it is a matter of your safety. You wanted sex to be enjoyable, and it won’t be if you’re worrying about that.

7. Don’t be selfish.

Give as much as you get, and make sure to get as much as you give. Sex goes both ways, and everyone involved should be getting some. This ensures that everyone is happy with the sex, and it leads to some more again in the future - if that’s the plan.

8. Have fun!

Sex is supposed to be fun. It’s supposed to be enjoyable. It’s okay to laugh, especially if it’s your first time because chances are, it will probably be awkward, funny, and not at all perfect. The point of all these tips put together is so you get this final outcome. Relax, enjoy yourself, and sex will be fun.

Thank you to my friends who all contributed their own personal tips for this article!