“I never see you anymore.”
“What has been going on in your life?”
“Why did it take so long for us to set this up?”
Every single time I’ve met a friend for coffee, without fail, these are all said. Over the past year and a half, I’ve finally started practicing setting aside time to meet friends for coffee simply to chat and catch up — I wish I would’ve started doing this so much sooner.
I’m not sure if it’s just because I’m older, if Oregon has a different culture than California or if I just have friends who are more inclined to this, but I’ve never gotten coffee with friends before coming to college.
Now, I don’t mean that as in just getting a drink at a coffee shop. What I mean is going to a coffee shop with the purpose of catching up. Getting actual coffee is just a bonus to the fact of intentionally meeting someone I care about, one-on-one, to just talk.
When I first tried getting coffee with a friend, I was completely nervous about what was going to happen. The words “let’s talk” are so vague, so open ended, so personal. It means the conversation really could go anywhere, and only once we start talking will we find out where the conversation will go.
I wasn’t nervous because of the fact that it could become personal; I love having deep, meaningful conversations with people I know. It’s just the uncertainty of it all that is nerve-wracking. It isn’t something I can prepare for, and that scares me. I don’t want to make a mistake, either revealing too much about myself and burdening someone, or not revealing enough and making them feel like I don’t feel close to them.
Getting coffee friends has forced me out of my comfort zone, making me come into a conversation, unprepared and forced to do more than just listen.
And it’s been absolutely worth it.
The handful of times I’ve gotten coffee with friends has already drastically changed me. Topics have ranged from everyday life, to theology, to personal problems — all of which have caused me to consider each topic from a different perspective, something I would have never been able to get if I hadn’t made the time to meet with that friend.
I’ve felt so much closer to these people after having coffee with them, and have also realized that, although we are incredibly different, we are also very similar. I come to find out that my doubts, my struggles, my apprehensions are not just mine. I’m not just alone in all that. I never would’ve found that out if I hadn’t intentionally made time, out of my day, to get coffee with them.
Life is so busy, it can become hard to make any time for friends — that’s all the more reason why it’s so important to make that time by getting coffee with them.
I look forward to the next time I get to tell a friend, “Let’s meet for coffee.”