One night, I decided to take a break from studying and go onto Tumblr. I eventually ended up finding several blogs promoting being skinny and eating disorders. As a college woman who did have an eating disorder in high school, these blogs infuriated me.

Being that skinny is not that healthy. You are at more risk for osteoporosis, heart problems, and infertility. You lose hair, you're always depressed or cranky, you're always getting sick, you're always in a cranky mood, and you're always bundled up because you have no blubber to protect you from the temperatures indoors and outdoors. Yes, too much fat is not healthy for you, but too little fat is detrimental as well.

I understand that some people are just naturally that skinny: they inherited those traits. I understand some people have trouble gaining weight no matter how much they eat. When Tumblr or Pinterest or Instagram shows thigh gaps, please remember those are not possible with normal people.

Please understand that having an eating disorder is terrible: I had anorexia my junior year of high school. You really want to eat food but you're afraid that you're going to gain weight. Your life has a routine that is definitely not normal or enjoyable: you are measuring your food, constantly checking the Nutrition Facts on every type of food you're about to consume, constantly keeping track of how much you eat via CalorieCount or some other website, constantly weighing yourself, and having a passion for cooking for others but not eating the food that you took so much time to cook. If you eat too much, you use exercise as a punishment. Exercise is not something you do for fun on a regular basis when you have an eating disorder. Most of the time, you are eating only 400-1300 calories a day. Most adults need at least 2000 calories a day to survive depending on the amount of physical activity that they partake in. I know many college athletes consume around 2500-5000 calories per day depending on what sport they compete in.

When you have an eating disorder, your mind is screaming all these negative things at you. You're too fat. You're too ugly. And it's difficult for you to free yourself from those thoughts. That's why so many young women relapse into these destructive habits even after thorough counseling. Eating disorders can be a lifelong conflict.

As someone who wants to become a United States Marine, my personal health is extremely important. I know that it is extremely important to get into shape and stay into shape. I know that I dread working out sometimes especially when it is early in the morning or during the hottest part of the day. I know that 99% of the time, I'll probably be feeling like I am going to die because my lungs are screaming for air and my muscles are burning. But after my workout, I feel like a super woman. I feel that I am ready to tackle the rest of my day.

I don't work out to lose weight, I work out to get in shape and to stay in shape.

I know that with the intense workouts I do almost every single day that I need the proper nutrition to replenish the energy that I burn. I always make it a priority to kick off my day with breakfast. I know that it is extremely important to eat foods of nutritional value and to limit the foods that are highly processed (have a lot of sugar or fat and no nutritional benefits). However, I don't go cold turkey or overreact if I splurge a bit. I allow myself to eat the occasional cookie on Friday nights. I know that one bad meal will not cause me to gain ten pounds just like one good meal will not cause me to lose weight. I know that weight gain and weight loss are not immediate events (weight gain occurs more quickly and losing weight is more difficult).

Right now, I am 125 pounds. At 5'1", I got to admit that is a bit on the heavier spectrum of the healthy weight range for my height. I know that I will never be a model since most modeling agencies require that females be 5'7" or taller. And I definitely will never be a showgirl or a cheerleader. I know that I don't have a slender body, but that's OK. All I know is that I am happier now than when I only weighed 91 pounds at the end of my junior year of high school.