2019 will be a year of…choosing well. I want to choose rest and calm instead of chaos and just being busy. I want to choose agape love when I'd rather distance myself or be bitter. I want to choose to do the hard, holy things that will really help me become who I want to be.
I want to choose well. I want to choose time with Jesus instead of just running around doing things that don't matter or scrolling my phone. I want to choose well what I put in, because I know it will be what comes out. I want to choose honesty, vulnerability, and being real instead of having to always appear to have it together. It may make me shake and want to hide, but there is no reason to apologize. The invitation to be authentically you is right here. We're all human and it gets messy, but the mess is beautiful.
I want to choose to say "no" when a "yes" would be more comfortable and gain approval.
I want to choose to build; build strong relationships, build trust, build ministry, and build more skill in what I do. Sometimes, I may need to break it down and start over, but I want to be careful I'm not just doing that because I'm afraid to stay and put work in.
I want to do many things this coming year; more heart-to-hearts, more selfless actions, more listening, more writing, more asking for help when I need it, more ministry and counseling, and more celebrating life just where I'm at. But most of all, I want to choose not to rush God in what He is doing. I want to be present in every moment, not wishing I was someone else doing something else, living a different life. 2019 will be a year of choosing well every day.
I'm saying goodbye to rushing through life and not making the best choices, or not making one at all because I'm fearful. The more I choose well, the more time I will have, and be at peace knowing it was my best yes. The more I choose well, the more I will love this life I'm living. The more I choose well, the more I will release what isn't meant for me and hold onto what is.
2018 was a year of new adventures, friends, experiences, and change. I flew for the first time and travelled to Florida, South Carolina, Chattanooga, and Knoxville. I met two people who quickly became very close friends. I wrote for More Love Letters, started this writing corner, fundraised for mental illness, and wrote hundreds of letters. I started certified counseling training and started writing my book. I saw one of my childhood friends get married and stood as her maid of honor. I spent time with my favorite little ones and laughed until I cried. I did long distance with my people and made it work. I've had lots of tacos, lemonade, and have seen some stunning sunsets.
It wasn't without a lot of loss, heartbreak, transition, and uncertainty. I lost a friend to suicide. I was ghosted and left, without any explanation. Friends were hospitalized, and my heart skipped a beat not knowing if they were okay. My heart was broken multiple times by guys I thought cared. Trust was shattered and I was replaced. I changed churches and am about to move hours away. I struggled with my health and relationships. I fell and saw those closest to me fall, but I also saw them get back up.
It was the hardest year yet, but I wouldn't change it for anything. I wouldn't want to miss what God did in my heart and life. I'll never forget it, but He's not done yet. I don't know what this year will hold, but I'm choosing hope.
Let's make the best of this year and just do the thing! Cheering you on, friend!