First off, I have to start by saying that college has really impacted my relationship with God. I've fallen short of keeping up with Him, and I have put many things before Him this year. I've stopped reading my Bible almost completely, and I don't attend church anymore. Whenever the option to go to Bible study would arise, I would say I was too busy. Basically, I've been avoiding every opportunity to be with my God this year, and I've been living in an attitude that radiates the words "not today, God, not today."

I'm not proud of this. I'm ashamed. I'm broken. I'm lost. I'm scared.

A couple days ago, I was going through a box under my desk, and I found my Bible. I realized I hadn't opened it in about 6 months. I had abandoned my God and turned my heart away from His. I began flipping through the pages of my Bible and skimming the words. I came to the book of Ephesians (my favorite book), and a piece of paper fell out. It simply read "Let your knees fall first." These words brought a complete wave of emotion over me, and I broke down in tears. These words were words I'm supposed to live by. These words are where my heart is supposed to be. These words are meant for love. And I forgot what these words were until this moment.

When I was in sixth grade, my youth group leader taught us these words. She taught us to let our knees hit the floor first instead of our feet in the morning. When we let our knees fall first in the morning, we pray to Jesus. We can talk to Him about any worries for the day, and we can give Him our love. By doing this, we glorify Him. There are no excuses when using this method because it can be as long or as short as you want it to be. Just let your knees fall first.

Even though I have been blindsided with the responsibilities of college and material distractions, not once did God say “not today, Caroline, not today.” He stood there, waiting for me to come home to Him, and welcomed me with open arms. My heart was broken, but I have been found again. My absent mind is no longer wandering, and I only want more of Him.

I'm going to let my knees fall first from now on, and I’m coming back to you, Jesus.

So, I want to challenge you to let your knees fall first for 30 days. Try it. You will always have time to do this, and you will be closer to Jesus. Even if it’s just for 30 seconds, it’s enough for Him. You are enough for Him.

"So that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love,may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ" — Ephesians 3:17-18