Sex is difficult to talk about. It is an intimate act that shows our sexual desires and it is look down upon.

I remember talking to a friend that when I first begin a relationship with a person, a lover most likely, I have trouble talking about some little things that bother me during sex. She responded, “You have to let that person know always! You can ever try to put sticky notes on your body and color coordinate the places where you are vulnerable and not.”

I learned that waiting too long cannot be good. DON’T WAIT TOO LONG.

Putting off a conversation, especially a sexual conversation can be off putting. Two of my friends grew apart sexually because they both didn’t communicate the dos and the don’ts of their sexual experience. It can even be that fact that you are insecure with your body or that fact that you just aren’t feeling it. Your libido is always intact and if you wait too long to discuss things, you might fracture it and then you have to start from zero to get the mojo back. Dry spells are normal in a relationship, it doesn’t mean that you will never have sex again; it just means taking the initiative to start conversing about the issue.

Communication doesn’t always require words. In fact, I found it helpful a touch is more verbal than words themselves. If, for example, a particular touch in uncomfortable or hurts, you move your body or move the hand. I mean if you stay there and do nothing, it just communicates the opposite to your partner. Suffering in silence gets people nowhere; it can only bring resentment. If that doesn’t work you show your partner by taking their hands to a more comfortable spot. You always have to make your partner feel comfortable and safe during non-sexual interactions. It is possible that they have been doing the same movement for a while, and during sex, that touch can be a reminder of that tender care that they have communicated before.

I think it would be so amazing if we all focused on our sensations and at the same time be in tune with our partner. It does take a while for habits to become a part of the process and by the time it is, what may have aroused you before may have changed. So there is no way around the communication part all the time. It is just about moving as one.

An important key to having sex and talking about sex is to remember be yourself. Remember what you like, be ready to communicate those dos and don’ts of sex. Over time, I have learned that by knowing what I wanted didn’t need me to be silent. For lack of better words, by being frank about my preferences, I had nothing to lose, but gain. I stopped holding back and found a way I can talk about my desires. I don’t just mean sex, also in life’s agendas.When you meet your partner half-way the orgasmic trance will enthrall your whole experience with your partner.

When my friends ask me how I go about meeting my desires I tell them, “I want this right here, right now and I love the way you do that thing. So lets add them and have fun!” Of course, half of them gasp and laugh, but I believe it is important to do that. There is so much only you can do to improve your sex life. Obviously, the support of your partner is key to all this.Just last week I was thinking about scenarios and how to bring certain characters to life.

At least that’s a start in my end.