There's not really a grand way to start tougher pieces like this because I want to be honest, and honesty isn't always grand. I think back to the past few years of my life and focus on my friendships. Not the ones that involve saying "hello" and smiling to an acquaintance in the hallway, but the ones filled with late-night calls and spilling details to the people we trust more than anyone else.

To the ex-friends I let go, I wanted time apart because there was something wrong in the friendship that seemed to be left unaddressed or unimportant to you.

I will be 100 percent clear and say that it's not your fault because it was no one's fault to begin with. Communication was what lacked in each friendship I wanted gone because neither side knew how to approach it, or the issue we faced was approached improperly. I will not apologize for what has happened because time takes its course, and friendships have their runs.

If the friendship ended, then it must have been meant to end.

Because I would never let a simple problem destroy something I hold so dear to me. What must have catalyzed the downfall of events that happened to play out was the equivalent of a snowball that tumbled down a snowy hill and gradually became the size of a boulder that crushed the friendship itself. And each friendship was different. Maybe we tried to stop the snowball from rolling down the hill because it wasn't meant to start rolling in the first place, or maybe we just attempted to slow down the snowball because we knew it was destined to crush us in the end.

Either way, this "letter" isn't meant to be a "whose fault is this" situation. It's meant to address the two people who come to mind immediately when I think of the friendships that disappeared. In both situations, I let you go. This isn't meant to be an apology letter either because frankly, I'm happy with the way things turned out.

But maybe you might not be happy, so let me actually tell you why I wanted time away from each other.

I wanted space because friendship is not meant to make me feel like I'm stuck or like I'm trapped in a small room with air coming through a small crack in the wall, and the only way out is to make the room smaller. But I felt that way with both of you, and even if I gave you a more immediate reason as to why I wanted out, my only regret is not telling you why I truly wanted the friendship to end.

I met one of you a few months ago after not talking at all for an entire year, and I felt different when I sat down surrounded by our friends. You sat across the table, and as I naturally wanted to see how much you had changed in the year that we kept away from each other, I realized that I had been the one who changed. I think back to who we were when we last were close friends, and I remember feeling disappointed and hurt by the way we treated each other. I remember feeling like this was not what best friends were supposed to feel like, but I couldn't come clean to you because you had done nothing blatantly wrong.

But as I sat at that table and thought to myself who I was a year ago, I realized that today, I am so much happier. I feel like I have changed more because I feel so much freer and happier and — dare I say it — unchained from whatever was dragging me down. I do feel bad for saying that our friendship was what had kept me up and thinking some nights why we weren't as good of friends as best friends were supposed to be, and though I may not know how you feel, I want you know that cutting ties actually was for the best.

Even if we've made amends but still aren't in contact.

To my other friend who I've come to terms with saying goodbye to more recently, you gave me a reason to depart. I won't point fingers and blame you immediately as being some kind of terrifying villain who is solely responsible for the destruction of our friendship, but in the final days when we both knew we weren't going to last as sisters, I saw a vindictive side to you.

I didn't want to harshly cut ties as I had done before with someone else because I wanted to know how history would play out, how things would be different if I didn't completely back away from a person and act like I didn't know her. But it didn't work.

I am glad we are no longer friends because I could not see any way we could stay that way for long. I truly have to admit it, and by saying it clean and straight, I want to get this message across. My feelings about this departure differ from my other encounter with such a saddening situation because I have regrets about my other separation. I don't about this one.

And that's partially the reason why we stopped talking altogether. Because that giant boulder racing down the hill only sped faster and faster because I didn't want to stop it. I knew it was inevitably going to crush us.

This was originally going to be dedicated only to you because I had done that before when writing letters to others, and maybe it has come off that way. It's now come off as a blunt piece focused on coming clean with an emotional edge, so let me end this on a good note just to reassure you that things will get better.

I have no idea how you're doing, what you've told others about me or how much you've kept from everyone else about this, but I do miss you. Through all the internal banter and feelings of hurt, part of me is still dedicated to you. You've left a mark on my life that I can't forget, and I thank you for that.

I thank you both for being parts of my life that I have cherished in the years we'd been inseparable. Time heals, and time brings happiness. Letting go has healed me, and letting go has brought me happiness.

And through it all, I only wish the same upon you both.