My mom likes to tell me people come into your life and leave at certain points, but there always is a reason for their presences in it. It could be to teach you a lesson, bring some happiness into your life for a period of time, show you a different side of life, or be a close friend.
Recently a close friend of mine decided it was their time to leave, and though I am extremely upset, I am also very appreciative of the lessons this person has taught me during our friendship.
I'll start with the positive things...
You've developed in me a thinking process of learning to love myself more. You showed me that yes, I may not look like an Instagram model, but in someone's eyes, I will be. All of the imperfections I see within myself, someone else will think they are what makes me beautiful, you always called them "my quirks".
You taught me that not everyone has to like me. I was shown that it was ok, because the people in that are in my life, love to be in my presence.
When we met I was a bit of a futuristic thinking person. I was always worried about the future and what it would hold, even if it was just what my plans were for that night. You showed me to slow down and take things day by day. It's okay to not know what is going to happen further down the path of your life, not everything has to be planned out.
There are many other positives lessons you brought to my life, but these are the ones that I am most thankful for. Along with these though, there were some negatives to this friendship.
I learned from you not to keep chasing after a person I know isn't giving me their full effort. If I feel as though something has developed into a one-sided friendship, then that should be a red flag for me. I shouldn't have to be the one to keep trying to make everything work if the other person isn't trying as hard as I am.
The biggest thing I learned from this whole thing is that I can't change myself to make someone else happy. If they don't like me for me, that is their problem. I have noticed that I may not be as strong as a person as I was when we first became friends. I used to never let myself get pushed around, because why should I?
I changed that because if I upset you, said something you didn't like or made you angry, you would say you're ditching me, and I would get upset because I didn't want that.
The final lesson is one that I will tell you hurt the most, yet also is the one I needed to learn. Sometimes, you just have to let go. I can not control when people come, or when they go. I can not control how they choose to leave, even if it may hurt. Even if you try your hardest to keep them around and make everything work.
To the person I once considered one of my best friends, thank you for all the lessons you taught me. I hope I taught you some too.