I Learned A Lot From My Parents' Divorce, Including How To Cope With It

I Learned A Lot From My Parents' Divorce, Including How To Cope With It

My parents splitting up allowed me to reflect about the complicated ways of divorce.

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Looking back at my childhood, I was never able to grasp what it means for a family to be divorced. When I was nine, my parents decided to split up, and I never understood it. My siblings and I lived with my mom, and we would spend the weekend with my dad once every two weeks. The topic of divorce is a delicate topic, and as a kid in my later childhood years, I had to adjust on my parents splitting up.

I do have to say that it was not easy to adjust, but my parents were supportive and understanding. The process of coping with divorce was not a simple walk in the park at times, but what made it easier was my parents' sympathy. As a child, whenever they would talk to us about this situation they made it clear that it was not our own fault, it was their own fault and mistake. It is hard to leave everything behind and have to move from one town to another, but my parents were always there for me which made a rough situation much better.

Some may think that there are perks of having divorce parents such as getting double birthday presents, and scoring double Christmas gifts or getting away with certain things in one household from another. However, as I grew older I realized how having to spend Christmas Eve with my dad, and the next day scrambling the next morning with my mom's family for Christmas is such a hassle. I often questioned why can't we all stay together for the holidays or for a special occasion. I never like having my entire life in a backpack, coming back from one household to another.

Despite all the negative effects divorce has on children, it is often a good reason why moms and dads split up. Whatever problems they do have it is a good thing for those problems to disappear when parents live in separate places. Divorce can teach children just like how it taught me on choosing what age to marry and to commit to a relationship or not. The topic of divorce also lets children see and learn from their parents' mistakes.

As a young adult who is still trying to understand the complicated process of divorce, I have a better understanding of what divorce is. This topic has made me more conscious of relationships and I cannot stress this enough that a child should not blame themselves for their parents' divorce.

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If You Give A Girl A Brother

If you give a girl a brother, she'll always have a hand to hold.
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If you give a girl a brother, she'll always have a friend

and, she'll probably rely on him over and over again.

Once she realizes that he's always there she'll hand him her trust,

and for a solid sibling-ship, this confidence is a must.


If you give a girl a brother, she'll always have someone to blame

when her blood is boiling and she's too mad to remember her own name.

She'll always have someone to run to when she's in need of a good laugh

and when she's at a loss for words, someone to speak on her behalf.


If you give a girl a brother, you can expect a lifetime of fights,

but to compensate, they'll stay up watching movies and bonding many late nights.

At times he'll be her worst enemy yet always her biggest alliance.

He'll make her happier than anyone on this planet, and there is no denying it.


If you give a girl a brother, she'll always have her half of a pair,

whether it's for when she wants to dance, drink coffee or play Modern Warfare.

She's always got someone to compete with, and someone to form a team.

A backbone, a driving force behind all of her amazing dreams.


If you give a girl a brother, you better watch your back,

because if her heart is ever broken, he'll be ready to attack.

She's always got protection, no matter the date or time.

He's like her Secret Service, her partner in crime.


If you give a girl a brother, she'll always have a reason to smile.

Someone to make every vacation, every road trip worthwhile.

She'll always have the biggest critique, to point out every flaw,

but someone to respect them and see her with star-struck awe.


If you give a girl a brother, she'll always have a hand to hold,

a shoulder to cry on, her very own stronghold,

and someone to support her in every endeavor.

If you give a girl a brother, she'll be the luckiest girl ever.


God blessed this girl with three amazing brothers who are everything mentioned above and more. I love all three of them more than anyone could ever imagine and I am so thankful for all the days they've been my personal assistants, my therapists, or my goofballs to laugh with.

I really cannot fathom anything greater than having a brother — or three.

Cover Image Credit: https://static-secure.guim.co.uk/sys-images/Guardian/Pix/cartoons/2012/6/18/1340009508811/brother-and-sister-fighti-008.jpg

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Here's Your Reminder To Let The People You Care About KNOW That You Love Them

It's so scary to think that one moment everything is fine and then something happens so out of no where and out of your control.

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Last week I stared at my phone screen, not believing what my friend had just told me. Our close friend's father had just passed. I didn't know him well, but there was still a huge knot in my stomach, obviously feeling awful for my friend. That has to be one of the most horrible things, that I could never in a million years imagine having to go through. I told my friend I was thinking of her, but honestly, I tried to push it out of my mind that entire week. It's so scary to think that one moment everything is fine and then something like this happens so out of nowhere and out of your control.

Sometimes things happen in our lives that are unexplainable. This semester has had its ups and downs for me, but it's been pretty smooth sailing overall. I usually gladly stay on campus for the weekends, surrounded by my friends and so much going on, rather than taking the hour-long train ride home. Of course, I miss my family, but I am rarely thinking about it, especially on a Friday night.

This past weekend, however, I had this overwhelming desire to be at home for the weekend, and I couldn't figure out why. Sure, I had more work to do than normal so going home would probably force me to be more productive. I had also been sick that week, so it would be easier to kick my cold in the comfort of my own home than in my dorm. And as much as I adore Brower (not really), it can never hurt to get a good home cooked meal. I kept telling myself I would be home for spring break in two weeks, so none of these reasons really added up to my wanting to be home for the weekend.

Nevertheless, after a late date night on Friday, I decided to pack up my things early Saturday morning and haul my duffel bag to the train. And by the end of my weekend at home, I realized why I needed to be there so badly. I hadn't really confronted how hearing about the loss made me feel and how it was affecting me.

Writing this sounds selfish. Why should it matter how I feel when someone I care about is over there grieving and going through such immense pain? But after a week of pushing it out of my mind, I saw these events as an eye opener for my own life. Even though I have a really close bond with my own father, we fight a lot more often than I'd like, and sometimes I need a reminder to just let things go. I don't show it enough, but I love my dad so much and need to be grateful for the important role he plays in my life.

It sounds like stating the obvious to preach the importance of cherishing every second because you don't know when will be the last, but we often forget. No one should have to suffer through loss, and it scares me the more and more I think about it. I wish there was such a thing as the perfect thing to say to help someone through such an unexplainable situation like this. I guess all you can do is be there for them, give the people you love a hug, and appreciate the little moments you're lucky enough to spend with family.

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