Lessons From A Rollercoaster

So probably almost ten years ago, my mom, sister, and I went to Canobie Lake Park over in Salem New Hampshire with our soon-to-be stepsisters and stepfather. It was a great time -- we rode all the rides, hung out, laughed, you know, everything that happens at an amusement park when you have four girls under the age of probably 13. It was a really fun day that turned into night, yet these are not the reasons we remember it so well.

On that summer night, something horrible happened, and I have been scarred from it ever since. Picture this:

You've been at Canobie Lake Park all day, have ridden all the rides, and have the energy of a preteen. Obviously, you want to go on at least one more ride before it's time to go, and the choice is simple: the Corkscrew. For those of you who don't know, the Corkscrew is a rollercoaster. But not just any rollercoaster. It's this huge yellow rollercoaster with twists and turns and you go upside down and it's wicked fast and for a little girl, (a little tomboy, I won't lie to you), it's the dream. For reference here's a picture of said ride:

I will not be providing a picture of myself at this age, as nobody needs to see that to understand the story. Just picture a middle part, frizzy hair in a pony tail, glasses, braces, and more than likely some amount of camouflage on my body. Okay so back to the story. You're a little tomboy getting ready for one of the last rides of the night and you're waiting in line excitedly. After waiting patiently, (hahaha anyone who knows me knows that there was no patience involved whatsoever), it's finally your turn to ride the Corkscrew.

Some combination of our family members get on the ride, it's way cooler because it's dark out, and we're off. Wind slamming you in the face, the safety restraints slightly digging into you, and the sheer speed of the ride and adventure. Arms up, mouth open screaming your head off in excitement, and then, it happens. Something undefinable hits you square in the mouth, and your gut reaction is to immediately spit it back out, and keep your mouth firmly shut for the remainder of the ride.

What was it, you may ask. Well, we found that Canobie Lake Park is all fun and games UNTIL SOMEONE GETS A LOOGIE IN THEIR MOUTH WHILE GOING FULL SPEED ON A RIDE THAT'S ONLY 60 FREAKIN SECONDS LONG.

Yup. It happened. Someone else on the ride, who probably hates puppies and bites their ice cream, decided it would be A-okay to not only spit, but full out HAWK A LOOGIE ON A MOVING ROLLERCOASTER.

To make things worse, there was some excess loogie on my sweatshirt that left a sparkling slimy gob. AND I had to get off the ride and then tell my family what happened to me. They, like you, found it hilarious, while I at the time, really did not. I even called my dad in a panic to tell him what happened -- he thought that something much more serious had taken place but I mean that was a pretty traumatic experience don't you agree?? I won't even go into the details of feelings and texture of the incident because you don't need to picture that. The fact that you're still reading this is amazing enough.

But anyways, it was that moment, right there, that has scarred me for life. Since this horrible incident I have been back to Canobie and back on that ride, but full of caution. Moral of the story: keep your mouth closed on roller coaster rides, or just hope and pray that something this disgusting doesn't happen to you. Also, don't be the one that does the hawking and spitting!

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