February 20, 1963 was the ground-shaking day that my mother, Robyn Linda Payne, first entered this world. Since that day, she has grown ceaselessly in beauty and wisdom, raised four passionate children, and poured a ridiculous amount of love into every heart she touches. Because this is my first year away at college and, thus, the first year that I will not be with her on her birthday, I thought it only fitting to celebrate her in an attempt to convey just how truly incredible she is. I decided to write a letter to my future daughter in the hopes of passing on as many values and life lessons that I have learned from my mother as I possibly can.This is a literary celebration of the woman she is, the woman she is shaping me to be, and the woman I will teach my daughter to become. Relentless love, unprecedented joy, feisty passion, unwavering self-respect. Mom, my daughter will be brilliant because of YOU.

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"As for my girls, I'll raise them to think they breathe fire."

- Jessica Kirkland

My dear, sweet daughter:

I have absolutely no idea when you will see this letter or even if you will see it at all. I don't know what you look like, what you're interested in, what your personality is like. I have yet to meet you. But, I know that you are incredible. I know that you are ridiculously brilliant, simply because your grandmother is. I pray that you have gotten the chance to meet her and spend time with her because, sweet girl, your grandmother is absolutely everything and more. I am writing you this letter in an effort to consolidate a list of the most important lessons she has taught me since the day I was born. Though I learn more and more from her every day, I wanted you to have a solid, tangible list of a few of the ways in which Robyn Linda Payne Modly has shaped who I am, who I aspire to be, and who I will encourage you to be as well. Pay attention, child. These lessons are pure gold and sheer power in every sense.

The first lesson is quite simple. Eat the cupcake, buy the funny socks, sing out loud in the car. You are so young, but life is so short. Embrace these little joys in life. Quit worrying about what other people will think. Cling to all that is good and pure and simply silly. You deserve relentless happiness. And if that comes from wearing bright pink socks with cats in bowties on them or belting out "Hold On" by Wilson Phillips while you’re driving on the highway, so be it. Follow these little joys to the ends of the Earth if you have to. These little things turn into the big things and the big things make up your life. If you blink, you just might miss it. Next, feel what you feel. It's significant. No one in this entire world has the right to tell you that your feelings are of any less importance than their own. If something makes you happy, be happy. If something makes you sad, let it consume your heart for a little. If something makes you angry, let it all out and scream into your pillow at night. You have a right to feel. No one is entitled to tell you that you should not feel exactly what you feel at the exact moment that you feel it. In addition to this, take note of exactly where these feelings come from. Learn from their sources. Examine your own heart. This is imperative in discovering who you are. All of these feelings are important, significant, intentional. Embrace them as a unique, inherent part of your soul. Stop living for you. You were not put on this Earth to serve yourself. If you spend your days focused on what you want, what you need, you will never have any true connections with other people. You will never know what "love" really means. You will never become the person, the Christian, you are undeniably called to be. A selfish Christian is a contradiction. Look up, look out. The world needs you. The world needs your brilliance, your tender heart, your beautiful smile. Mold your heart around others. You will never regret any moment of your life that was spent showing love. BUT stand your ground. You are not a doormat, you are powerful. People will take and take and take from you,simply because they recognize the beautiful, servant-like heart growing within you. Give freely, but remain aware of the fine line between serving others and being taken advantage of. You deserve just as much happiness, love, and respect as you pour out into the world. Do not let others walk all over you. Know your worth and walk away from anyone who sees your giving heart as permission to take advantage of your kindness. Dig deep. Everything you need is already within you. It's become quite the worn out phrase but I mean it when I say that, other than God, you really do not need anyone else. Truly. Every ounce of courage, determination, passion is already engraved on your heart. It's up to you to beckon these God-given gifts out from within. You want to be a doctor? Do it. You want to pick up and move clear across the country? No one's stopping you. Trust your gut. Reinvent yourself every day. You are an ever-evolving piece of artwork. Who ever said you need someone else to fill you up, to complete you, to make you strong? You are overwhelmingly enough all on your own. Finally, but definitely most importantly, accept that you are a human overflowing with captivating brilliance. Demand to be treated as such. I will spend my entire life convincing you of this fact, sweet girl, just like my mother convinces me every day. You just are. You are completely marvelous, intricately designed with immense purpose. Whether it's your ex-best friend in high school, your college professor, or the first boy you ever fall in love with, DO NOT let anyone treat you like you are anything less than marvelously exquisite. If you have to tell yourself every morning in the mirror or get it tattooed on your skin, be entirely convinced that you are deserving of a life of promise and fulfillment. Become unshakable in the belief that you are both a work in progress and a masterpiece at the same time. Do not sit still while you are being fed empty promises and lies of the limitations people have placed on you. You are an impossibly amazing collision of overcome obstacles, constant revisions, and all the best reasons to get out of bed in the morning. Your heart is the best-written book anyone will ever read. You are everything and more.

One day I hope to add to this list, maybe fill a book with lessons from your grandmother. It's impossible to even come close to writing down everything she has taught me. She is flawed, of course, but she is exquisite. I will never be half the mother she is. No one could fill those shoes. But, my daughter, I hope you know how blessed you are to have her genes, to have her blood running through your veins. That humble beauty, glowing joy, fiery passion. We get to inherit that, we get to build our families on that, we get to model our lives after that. We get to model our lives after her. That is incredibly powerful. I love you more than you will ever know and am so excited to see the brilliant woman you become.

Xoxo,

Your mother, Dorian Faith Modly