"If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present." – Lao Tzu
For me, there is nothing more trying than living in the moment and being present in my daily life. I have always struggled with being mindful, and instead, I tend to focus on the life I used to live. That life was one of a very sad and lost, young and naïve addict. That life is one I am no longer part of, yet I have to stop myself on a daily basis from feeling like I am still part of it.
These days, I am living a very full and happy life, but moving on from the things that once made me who I was is extremely difficult. So much of the girl I used to be no longer defines me, so why do I struggle so much accepting this?
People do change according to their circumstances, and I think this is a wonderful thing because it means we as humans are capable of growth. We are capable of loving again after having our hearts broken, we are capable of forgiveness and we are capable of picking up the pieces and moving forward.
Yes, I struggle with letting go of the past, but it's something I work on every single day. Since this topic has been on my mind, I put together a list of why it's healthy and beneficial to put the past where it belongs- in the past.
1. Don't cry over someone who isn't crying over youGiphy
If you can't stop focusing on an ex, or someone who hurt you, remember that if they wanted to fight for you back, they would. If it's a past relationship you find yourself dwelling on, remember that it ended for a reason and if you go back, that same reason may bite you in the butt.
2. It is what it isGiphy
Sometimes there's nothing we can do to "fix" something that was in our past. All we can do is fake it 'til we make it and give it time.
3. If it didn't happen, you wouldn't be where you are now
Look at where you are now. There's a good chance that if you didn't go through the bs you did, you wouldn't be the baddie you are today.
4. Everything happens for a reasonGiphy
I know it's cliché, but it proves to be true if you give it a chance. I am sincerely grateful for every misguided step I took, because looking back, it turns out they were all the right ones.
5. Letting go of control is unbelievably freeingGiphy
You cannot control anything but yourself. You can't change whatever went wrong in the past, all you can do is learn from it and face the fact it got you to where you are today. It's hard to accept a loss of control, but the more you aim to control things, the more you will end up being disappointed.
6. Look at the positiveGiphy
It's easy to let negative feelings take over, but try replacing them with positive ones instead. Behind every catastrophe is a silver lining.
7. What doesn't kill you makes you strongerGiphy
Kelly Clarkson said it best. And the woman has a point.