Most of my life has been about looking for the next adventure. No matter how exciting my life may be there has always been a quiet voice in the back of my head whispering, “What can I do next?” The answer almost always comes in the form of a plane ticket and a suitcase full of my belongings. In the last four years that subtle whisper has turned into a loud scream and I’ve found myself living on three different school campuses, in five different states, and even on another continent.
No matter where I go I’m always met with the same question: Why do you need to move so much?
Usually I answer with a laugh and then blame the impulse to leave on my “gypsy spirit.” It wasn’t until my most recent move to Oregon that I realized at there is a difference between the constant travelers who wander from place to place as a form of fulfillment, and the ones who run full-speed ahead in order to escape their problems; and at some point over the last few years I changed from a hopeful adventure-seeker to a heedless runner.
I realized I love the excitement of moving to a new place because every time I step off an airplane I am granted the gift of a fresh start. In my head a new adventure is synonymous with a fresh start and a shedding of old baggage. The only problem is, your baggage isn’t tied to a place. It follows you wherever you go.
Honestly, though I know I’m not the only one who does this, in fact I can name a handful of friends who are guilty of the same skewed thinking. We are the generation of instant gratification after all. When our problems become bigger than we can handle we look for the quickest fix, even if the quickest fix isn’t the most effective one.
Don’t get me wrong, I am beyond thankful for the experiences I have had. Each move brought me to a new season of life, new friends, and unforgettable memories; but the fear of letting my baggage catch up stopped me from creating roots anywhere I went. I convinced myself the only place I should grow roots in is the place where my baggage doesn’t follow me. It took the insight of many wise friends to show me I had been carrying around my baggage like a backpack this whole time. Once I forced myself to unload it and deal with the contents, I finally realized why no new place had ever given me the sense of ease I had been so desperately running toward.
Please don’t think I am saying you should stay in one place for the rest of your life. The world is too big, and too beautiful, for you to only stare at your backyard, but please don’t use it as an excuse to escape your problems. Be brave and adventurous. See the world for all its beauty. Create roots in a place that makes you feel at home. Leave as often as you need, but please don’t run.
