Growing up, I was not very successful with my friendships (at all...). My desire to be liked always lost out to my weird personality, my poufy hair and my obsession with grades from the very beginning of my scholastic career. Because of my oddities, I didn’t have many friends; kids are mean, no surprise there.

I also had a twin sister who everyone thought looked exactly like me, making us more of an exhibit than real people. We were always together, running from practice to practice, and didn’t have time for much else besides soccer and school. It consumed our lives. This made it very difficult to form true friendships and understand what was needed in a friend. Not to mention, our family moved around a lot, so I’m not one of those kids who has friendships from kindergarten that will continue to my wedding day where they would share embarrassing stories of me as a toddler.

Throughout middle and high school, I thought I had finally cracked the code of friendship. It was simple, blend in and don’t be weird! People will come crawling to you begging to be your friend. I was obviously ignoring all advise and cliché slogans about “be yourself and the right people will find you,” because, for me, that never worked out. That is, until about now; the tail end of my undergraduate years of college.

When I began my bachelor’s degree, I had chosen a small university so I wouldn’t feel like I would be lost in a sea of students in the classroom setting, but also, because I believed this is where I would flourish socially. Small classes would allow me to easily meet people, and I knew those people would have similar interests. I also elected to play a sport in college; from this, I had hoped to be inducted into a second family of sorts, full of love, acceptance and common ground. Wow, was I wrong. A small university instead meant the rapid-fire spreading of rumors and lies, and the small class sizes meant I was surrounded by my neighbors and classmates that engaged in this high school-esque drama every single day.

Yes, I managed to make a small group of friends, but that group shifted and changed drastically every semester until my last three semesters of college (which would collectively be my senior year… confusing I know, but it’s a long story…). In my first few semesters of college, I ended up doing the same thing that I did in high school: blend in as best I could. And this got me nowhere. I collected so many dead-end friendships, with people who I couldn’t even trust with the most shallow of secrets or information, for fear it would leak in a forest fire through campus.

Thankfully this all changed in the Spring of 2017. I finally came to understand what kind of person I was, and could therefore understand what kind of person I required in my life. I was done accepting any person who talked to me as my friend. I was over the drama and the inconsistency and the constant apologizing when I managed to say something that didn’t perfectly fit with that “friendship’s” narrative, and I was moving on to build relationships that mattered. And I have found my people. Yes, they are all completely different and we are not exactly a connecting circle of personalities, but, they are perfect for me.

One has been my roommate through the entirety of college (something we didn’t recognize until the fall semester of our senior year came to a close... how did we miss that?). This woman is strong and loyal, and she loves with her whole heart. Her passion for life is contagious and her friendship has meant worlds to me. Yes, we fight and go a few weeks or months without talking regularly. But we also have sushi nights and watch sad Netflix documentaries that I pick out while we lay in her comfy bed and always have fun together. We are forever friends and I know that no distance or time can sever the bond that we have. She has been there for me through my darkest times and had my back through it all.

Another began as my nemesis — a psychology major with a communications minor, who had almost all of my classes with me and was a very outspoken Republican. She and I are complete opposites in almost everything, including background, stature, life pursuits and interests, etc. But she is a friend who never goes a day without talking to me and always reminds me that we love each other so much. We have been on so many adventures together, from jumping out of planes to driving me to the hospital, and I don't know what I would do without her. She is one of the best friends I have ever had, and someone who reminds me that each day is worth it and that there are amazing people in my life worth fighting for.

My biggest competition at St. Thomas University and one of my biggest inspirations ALSO, somehow, managed to choose me as a friend and I couldn’t be happier. She is currently living her best life in the Bahamas with her adorable son, absolutely thriving, and doing all of the things I hope to one day master as gracefully as she does. She has helped me learn that friends are all walking different paths and that although they may lead to completely different destinations (aka to different countries), those friendships that truly matter will always be there. Whether its coffee at Starbucks or frozen sangria at Lime five months after we have last seen each other, the conversation and love will never cease.

And to my newest friend, the one who makes work so enjoyable and fun, and has embraced all of my weirdness and crazy with completely open arms. She has shown me that the amount of time you know someone means literally nothing in a friendship. We have known each other for only a few weeks now, yet, I feel like I could trust her with my deepest fears and secrets and they would be locked in a vault. The love she shows me daily, and the way she understands me and my very unique blend of personality traits and wild moods is unbelievable. Taking a day to just hang out, get nothing (ok, ALMOST nothing) accomplished, and eat great pizza was one of the most fun and necessary times of my life, and her character and personality made it that way. She is as unique as I am and I love every bit of it.

There are PLENTY more friends that have become a huge part of my life, and no, I didn't forget you (womb-sharer, Chicago GF, former-roommate-turned-farmers-market-partner, concussion buddies, etc.). Each person in my life teaches me a new lesson daily, and the bond I share with them is so important to me.

Each of you have taught me that I am worthy of friendship, so I thank you.

All my life, I have struggled to find people who would love and accept me for who I was. This is partly due to my chameleon tendencies and my deep desire to be like everyone else; however, when I finally began to understand who I truly was, these people came into my life to help the process along and have never left my side. The same will happen for all of you out there who feel like the "weird" kid, I promise. No one is ever truly alone and you will find your people too.

There aren’t too many rules in friendship, especially in mine, but always remember: you can have more than one "best" friend (I know I do); a friend will love you and stand by you through the thickest of rains and the driest of droughts; a friend will be there waiting on the sidelines while you journey out alone to try and figure yourself out; a friend can be near or far, but will always be THERE; your friends don’t have to be exact replicas of you and with diversity comes fun; and lastly, time is construct made up by human kind, so, it should have no effect on the value you place on relationships with other human beings.

Until next week friends!