No matter how you look at it, dating is hard. You go through the early stages where it can be awkward because you're still trying to figure out if you're interested in one another, to being in the later phases where you have the real fights and hardships. But what happens when your heart has been broken in the past and you have to learn how to date again? From someone who is currently going through this firsthand, here's what we need to remember.

It's ok.

Take a deep breath and breathe. It's ok to be excited. It's ok to be scared. Hey, it's ok to be absolutely terrified. Sometimes the best things for us scare us the most. The simple fact that you are putting yourself out there again after you have had your heart broken already shows your incredible strength, so be proud of that. And always remember that no matter what happens, it's all going to be ok.

Fall in love with you first.

God created you in his image for a specific reason and that is why each of us are so different from one another. We constantly point out every one of our "flaws", and especially after a breakup, we look at everything wrong within ourselves that made people in our past unable to love us. But that is their loss, not yours. Before we can go out, start dating, and eventually fall in love again, we need to fall in love with ourselves and who we are on our own. So take yourself out to coffee. Take yourself to the movies. Spoil yourself and fall in love with who you are on your own before you learn to fall in love with another person.

Say yes.

If the nice guy in your class asks you out and he's the opposite of your ex, say yes. If the new guy in town asks you to dinner, say yes. Or if your neighbor asks you to coffee, say yes. Sometimes the first step is simply saying yes to something new even if it scares you.

Have standards.

If he only texts you after 1 am, delete his number. If he only compliments you and tries to get to know you so he can get you into bed, ignore him. If he only is hitting on you right after he hit on another girl in the bar, walk away from him. People are going to treat you the way you allow them to treat you. So if you don't respect yourself, they won't respect you either. It can be hard to set a new standard after you've had your heart broken but you deserve more from a guy than a hot hook up one night. You deserve a guy who wants to get to know you because he actually cares. You deserve the world and nothing less.

Stand up for yourself.

Even if you let someone walk all over you in the past, that does not mean that's how it should be. You deserve to be adored and treated like a queen each and every day so if someone is trying to push you around, stand up for yourself. You deserve better than that.

It's okay to admit you're terrified.

I had this incredible guy ask me out to dinner multiple times but I was so terrified that I kept blowing him off because I wasn't ready and again, I was terrified. But then one night I decided to tell him the truth. That I was blowing him off because I had my heart broken so bad in the past that now I was absolutely terrified of love. And you know what? He understood, and when I later asked him to coffee, we ended up having an amazing time. Not every guy is going to understand that but that's ok because then that guy wasn't for you. You need to move at your own pace, despite what anyone else thinks.

Always be yourself.

Just because somebody couldn't love you for your quirks, it doesn't mean no one will. We live in an era where people think they need to change themselves to fit a certain standard or no one will love them and that's sad. No matter what happen's in your life, whether it's dating or simply forming new friendships, always be yourself because one day the right person is going to fall in love with you for all the little things that make you unique.

Love can be scary and learning to fall in love again can be terrifying. People are going to ask you "are you dating anyone yet?" "is there anyone new in your life?" but that doesn't mean you need to start dating right away. Take your time and learn to be happy on your own before you find someone else. Don't settle for the first guy that gives you attention, but take your time to find someone who wants to get to know you. Who wants to see you smile and to hear your laugh. Love and relationships may be terrifying, but they can also be the most exciting and beautiful things in the world.

“You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.”
― Dr. Seuss