Learning Something New About Someone

Learning Something New About Someone

"For her entire life, she didn't tell anyone that she had a baby at the age of 19 and gave it up for adoption before starting her life and family."


For as long as I can remember, my grandmother and I have always been really close in our family. I have recently discovered that there was more to her life than what had been discussed growing up.

I always try to give people the 'benefit of the doubt' however it can only be used to certain extents. The first person I think of when I have exciting news or an issue, is go to my grandma. We have such a huge bond, and I always know she has my best interest at heart and will offer me the best information possible.

Everyone should have a fallback person, and in this case it has always been my grandma. The best part about a fallback person as that they are always trustworthy and you tell each other every detail, in exchange for wise advice. The only problem is... that trust was recently lost. Not from me, but from her. My grandmother had been hiding a huge secret from not only me, but the entire family.

Someone on Facebook messaged my cousin asking if they knew who my grandmother was. My cousin responded and said "yes that's my grandmother, why do you ask?"

She responded saying "I think she might be my mother, can you answer a few questions to make sure that it is"

At first, my cousin thought this person was crazy and that she had the wrong family, but after verifying with my grandmother, it was true.

For her entire life, she didn't tell anyone that she had a baby at the age of 19 and gave it up for adoption before starting her life and family.

As a grandchild who is very close with their grandmother, you would think this is something that would be discussed at some point in my life. I trusted my grandmother, and I fully understand that this secret is not a very easy topic to explain to someone.

Giving her the benefit of the doubt, I can just imagine the guilt that's built up over the years, and she couldn't bare telling her children and grandchildren that she got pregnant at such a young age, as well as giving the child up for adoption.

Trust is something very important in any relationship. Finding out this information not from my grandmother is what upset me. I am by no means upset that I have an aunt somewhere out there in this world, but I was never informed until now. This situation in its entirety has made me feel like she didn't trust me enough to tell me. I blamed myself for not being there for my grandma to talk about the situation over my lifetime. She had always been my fallback person, I thought she felt the same about me. What could I have done to have her tell me the full truth? I would've loved to learn more about her life and help her cope with having a daughter that she has never met.

Bottom line, everyone has secrets, some are bigger than others, and some secrets come out in different ways. You should always treat everyone with respect, because you never know what they have gone through or what they have experienced in their lifetime. Trusting someone doesn't always mean you're going to get everything out of someone, especially something this big.

Learning to gain trust back from someone you care for so much isn't that hard as you'd think. But I'm hoping from here on out that all things shared between us are open and honest.

Popular Right Now

To The Dad Who Didn't Want Me, It's Mutual Now

Thank you for leaving me because I am happy.

Thank you, for leaving me.

Thank you, for leaving me when I was little.

Thank you, for not putting me through the pain of watching you leave.

Thank you, for leaving me with the best mother a daughter could ask for.

I no longer resent you. I no longer feel anger towards you. I wondered for so long who I was. I thought that because I didn't know half of my blood that I was somehow missing something. I thought that who you were defined me. I was wrong. I am my own person. I am strong and capable and you have nothing to do with that. So thank you for leaving me.

In my most vulnerable of times, I struggled with the fact that you didn't want me. You could have watched me grow into the person that I have become, but you didn't. You had a choice to be in my life. I thought that the fact that my own father didn't want me spoke to my own worth. I was wrong. I am so worthy. I am deserving, and you have nothing to do with that. So thank you for leaving me.

You have missed so much. From my first dance to my first day of college, and you'll continue to miss everything. You won't see me graduate, you won't walk me down the aisle, and you won't get to see me follow my dreams. You'll never get that back, but I don't care anymore. What I have been through, and the struggles that I have faced have brought me to where I am today, and I can't complain. I go to a beautiful school, I have the best of friends, I have an amazing family, and that's all I really need.

Whoever you are, I hope you read this. I hope you understand that you have missed out on one of the best opportunities in your life. I could've been your daughter. I could have been your little girl. Now I am neither, nor will I ever be.

So thank you for leaving me because I am happy. I understand my self-worth, and I understand that you don't define me. You have made me stronger. You have helped make me who I am without even knowing it.

So, thank you for leaving me.

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

Related Content

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

Michigan's Proposal Three

Why expanding voting access can only improve Michigan's democratic system


Last month, the Michigan Board of Canvassers gave the green light to a ballot proposal aimed at overhauling Michigan's electoral laws to add reforms like automatic and election day voter registration and straight ticket voting. A Detroit News Poll completed earlier this October showed "majority support" for the proposal and for good reason. From increasing voter enfranchisement to allowing for voters to vote more efficiently, this proposal can only help Michigan's population be more civically engaged by allowing more voters to get involved in the election process.

Although Michigan's voter turnout of 63% during the 2016 presidential election is higher than the national average of 58%, it is still lower than it was in previous years, such as when it was over 66% during the 2008 presidential election. Also, according to data from the Secretary of State, there are 200,000 Michiganders of voting age that are not registered voters. While this deficit seems small in comparison to Michigan's overall population of nearly 10 million, it is important that any number of potential voters can make all the difference in an important election. Recall that Trump only won Michigan by a little over 11,000 votes in the 2016 election. Maybe 200,000 additional votes could have made a difference. By allowing citizens of voting age to easily register to vote the day of an election through an automatic process that should reduce the level of work on the voter's part. While the specific details of this automated process are still being decided, there should be no reason to dispute Proposal Three in terms of voter enfranchisement, since involving more citizens in our electoral process is nothing if not meritorious.

Another important provision of Proposal Three is re-implementing the practice of straight ticket voting. This means that there will be an option on your ballot that automatically allows you to vote for all the the candidates in a political party in a single action. To explain, you would not have to bubble in each candidate individually if you intend to vote for only candidates of a single party. While opponents of this practice have argued that it decreases voter volition since it may encourage voters to not actually look at who is running for office and vote along overly partisan lines, approximately 30% of voters nationwide did not complete their ballots in recent elections nationwide. This may be because of the sheer number of candidates that larger voting districts may have. Chicago, while not in Michigan, has over 101 candidates on the average ballot. Larger regions in Michigan such as the metro-Detroit area likely have ballots that are similar in length and complexity to Chicago. By allowing people to vote for the political party they subscribe to in a quick and efficient manner through straight ticket voting, more voters may be incentivized to actually come out and vote in elections, which once again leads to Proposal Three increasing the democratic representativeness of Michigan elections.

As previously mentioned, Michigan voters will be deciding the fate of Proposal Three in the upcoming November 6th midterm elections. I strongly urge all Michigan voters to support this measure because, again, there simply is so much civic benefit to be gained at so little cost.

Related Content

Facebook Comments