I was a victim of bullying.

It lasted for two years. I was only in the third grade the first time someone looked at me and said that they hated me. I was stunned - I had never done anything to upset anyone. As the school year progressed, I began to realize that I didn't actually have very many friends.

I would walk by, and kids would whisper things behind my back. I couldn't go a day without someone making fun of my hair or my clothes. Girls would stick pens in my overalls, and one day a girl actually threatened to harm me. It was a lot for a ten-year-old to take in.

The bullying only got worse as I entered into the fourth grade. I remember one incident in vivid detail. I was wearing a scarf to go with my '50s day outfit. My elementary school had a '50s day celebration each year, and I always looked forward to wearing pleated skirts and fancy curls. That year, I had found a pretty black and white scarf that I absolutely loved. I sported well, until another classmate decided to come up behind me and pull tightly on it.

I remember that I couldn't breathe...

I kept trying to pull away from her, but she wouldn't let go. I was able to pull off my scarf, but I was greeted by her bare hands instead. That memory still lingers. Before all of this happened, I was an outgoing kid. I talked to anyone and everyone and I was never scared of people. That's not the case anymore.

I became very shy and quiet, and I still am. I'm always nervous to talk to people; I'm so scared that they will judge me. I want to be more open, but something prevents me from doing it. I hate being so socially awkward because I love meeting and talking to new people. But my insecurities take over.

It's hard to open up when you can't open up to yourself. I look in the mirror and I am greeted by things that I don't like to see. First off is my weight. I developed an eating disorder after being bullied, and it is so hard to break one. Then I look at my nose, which I'm super insecure about. I wish it was smaller. Then there is my height. I'm super tall, and that was one of the main reasons why I was bullied.

Here recently though, I've been feeling confident in the way I look. Don't get me wrong, I still have plenty of days where I don't want to look in the mirror, but I'm accepting myself for who I am. I love me. It feels so freeing to say that. I love that my sense of fashion is hipster librarian. I love that I'm tall; I never need help getting items off of the shelves.

I look at my curves, and yeah, I want to get healthier. I'm planning on doing so, but I love my body in its current state. It has endured a lot over the course of twenty years. My eyes are my favorite part of me. I love how they change colors; one day they are more green, and one day they are more brown. Sometimes, when the sun hits them, they turn into a golden color. I focus in on the things that I love about myself to help counter those moments where I wish I was someone else.

I think all of us have aspects of ourselves that we would like to change. It is a constant battle when we look into magazines and see certain people on the covers who look a certain way. Many of us have been victims of bullying, and it's so hard to learn to love yourself through it all. I understand the struggle. Everyday, I try to think of one thing that I like about myself. I tell myself that God created me for a reason, and I'm beginning to love who I am. I'm in the process of healing, and I cannot wait to enter into the phase of rebirth.

Good luck, and God bless.