Growing children learn to speak.
They learn the words and phrases
so they may use their lips
as their connection between
them and the world.
This is a gift for a child
unopened until later
when dignity and independence
become so important.
Growing as a child
I learned to not speak.
I learned that speaking meant
the people I love
the people I hate
any people in the whole world
now have a reason to
hate and blame me.
My words in the world meant
my mind can be twisted
and tormented when
another says so be it.
I learned to shut up.
And from this
I never got the gift
of dignity I eventually
craved so much that
I died inside.
What I feared to happen
by speaking
is what happened as I
had my mouth shut,
as I let people trample on me.
I'm late to the world
of showing my true colors,
showing to every other person
who I am and how I think.
And yes I still get trampled on
time to time—
but the gift is now sitting beside me,
peaking open day by day.