In the past few weeks, I have noticed one constant theme in my life: stress.
Every morning when I wake up I check my calendar to see what sort of commitments I have made for myself and what I have to accomplish in that one set of 24 hours. Between taking 3 summer classes, trying to work to have some extra money, and doing my best to get some social time in, I am always feeling stressed. I barely feel peace anymore even when hanging out with some of my favorite friends, or babysitting my favorite kids.
I am always thinking about what needs to get done next. I want to stop living my life like that. Instead, I want to be able to breathe. I want to be able to enjoy the present moment, not worrying about what homework I have to do, what test I have to take, and what deadline I need to meet. I want to be fueled by Jesus. In order to do that, I have to be active in His word. Which I am definitely not right now.
The other day, I was Facetiming my roommate from sophomore year, and I told her how stressed I was feeling. She asked me the one question she always asks when I am stressed: "have you read your bible lately?" As I moved my face out of her view, I said no. I have not been active in the Word, and when I am not active in the Word, I can see a difference in the way my days play out. I am more frustrated, tenser, and just not at peace.
It is definitely hard being at home and not having my group of friends to keep me accountable, but I am constantly trying to build my relationship with God, and in order to do that, I have to make time. I have to give God 30 minutes of my day everyday, in order to be where I want to be with Him.