A giant part of my social anxiety is rooted in my fear of being judged by peers, friends, strangers... anyone.

Wanting to voice my opinion on a particular issue, even just showing others a new hobby or activity I’ve taken up on, fills my mind with anxious thoughts and potential outcomes.

“This doesn’t seem like something I’d do… people are going to make fun of me... why can’t I speak exactly what’s on my mind without sounding unintelligent?”

I find that it’s due to the fact that, in many situations, I am a perfectionist. If I don’t give it my all and make countless mistakes along the way, I’ll automatically assume the opinions of any witnesses are judgmental.

A bad habit, yes, but one that is extremely difficult to get past.

High school is where I felt most judged. I was surrounded by peers who had known me since childhood and, in a way, “knew” the type of person I was. I was someone who was reserved, maybe even a little odd, uncoordinated... stupid if you will.

I began to conform to the unofficial stereotypes I believed my classmates had placed upon me. It was not the smartest move, for it prevented me from expressing my true self to the public without fear of what others thought.

Since graduating, I’ve begun to accept what is true. While several people in my life may have these opinions about me, it doesn't mean that everyone does. I shouldn’t let anyone's opinions deter me from expressing and finding myself in the years to come.

I’ve begun to try different things I’ve been curious about for many years, like dance, starting a YouTube channel, and more. Previously, I feared I would be judged by those around me or made fun of for “not being good enough” while sharing my experiences.

Today, none of that matters.

I will continue to explore new opportunities and interests as they come about and share with others what I’ve begun to find, without fear of being looked down on. This is certainly the better way to live life and the beginning of a very bright future.