With finals quickly approaching, I find it very easy to become overwhelmed with not just my school work, but my life in general. As a college student, we are tasked with the seemingly impossible task of balancing. As a full-time student, I not only have a full course load, but an internship, clubs I'm a member of, and friendships to worry about. I don't have a paying job, and I can't imagine having to also balance that as well. I consider myself lucky to have the ability to juggle tasks, but I do feel pressure during stressful times, finals included.
When I start feeling this stress, especially in hard times, I've started to practice self-care. I have historically been known to ignore self-care in favor of pushing my emotions down inside of me and forgetting them, only to crack under the pressures of everything. Healthy? Yeah, not so much.
I'm talking bad cracks under the pressure. Like sitting on the floor of the shower and just letting the water fall on you because you're so overwhelmed that you have no idea what to do or even worse, blowing up at someone you love. While I would frequently blow up or freak out on people that I love and they would eventually forgive me after I realized what I did was terrible, I had to step back and think.
What if I had done this to someone who I don't know that well? what if I did this to a stranger? How is my inability to handle my emotions anyone else's fault but my own? I was always under the impression that self-care was just taking a long bath and throwing a bath bomb in while listening to some easy listening in the dark. While that IS self-care for some, it's not for everyone.
I've learned along this journey of not internalizing my stress that self-care comes in many forms. The biggest one is acceptance. As soon as you can accept that you're feeling stressed, the easier it is for you to fix it. That's easier said than done for a lot of people, including me. I'll be stressed out, and chose to ignore those feelings until I actually feel like I'm going crazy. As soon as I can realize I'm having a hard time, I can make the effort to fix the problem.
I've also learned self-care isn't about buying yourself something. A lot of times you'll see articles labeled as "Things To Buy To Treat Yourself" and treating yourself, whether it be to an ice cream cone or a new pair of shoes and everything in between is great and all, but is it actually solving a problem? I feel like buying things in the hopes of making yourself feel better will actually make you feel better in the moment.
I myself have been guilty of this. I am what some people would call a "Sephora Addict." And for a big portion of my adult life, if I felt bad about myself or I had a problem, I would be on my Sephora mobile app buying myself a lipstick...or an eyeshadow...or a new fragrance.
That rush of buying something new always felt great at the moment, but when the box came two days later (because you KNOW I qualified for express shipping), that burst of adrenaline was gone. Sure I had something nice and new to play with, but all I had accomplished was taking $25 out of my bank account which I didn't need to do. Buying stuff is fun and buying stuff feels great. But retail therapy isn't real therapy.
Once you realize you have a problem and address it, the only thing left to do is solve it. Also, easier said than done. The way everyone handles stress and solves their problems involved with stress are all different, and I can't tell you what to do. For me, I practice self-care by drawing, especially designs for my friends. It gives me time to escape my stress and MAKE something with my two hands. I also take time out of my day to do some stretches from yoga.
While I love taking yoga classes, my schedule hasn't aligned the way I wanted it to this semester which has prevented me from taking them always. But I have my mat in my room, and nothing stops me from at least stretching every day. I can read, listen to music, or just sit outside in the sun for ten minutes to make myself feel better.
It took me a long time to realize why self-care is important. It's not some made up marketing term used to push bath products and venti-sized Starbucks drinks. Maintenance on yourself mentally is just as, if not more important than maintenance on your physical body. I know, you're probably thinking "Well, Anne isn't being healthy the most important thing in the world?" Yes. It's very important. But if you are so mentally out of sorts, are you actually going to be in the right mind to achieve physical activity or eating well? Probably not.
Self-care is a journey, not a race. It's the equivalent of getting an oil change or adding coolant to your engine. It might seem fine if you ignore it for now, but eventually, something serious will happen to the point where it could be irreversible. In these appraching weeks, I say we can all benefit from some "me time". Take a second and relax for yourself, because your needs should come first.