Before going to college, my only ideas of Greek life and "frat stars" came from movies like "22 Jump Street" and thinkpieces in magazines about the supposed evils of Greek life and frat parties. I started college incredibly anti-Greek, turning my nose up at the girls I met during move-in weekend whose first question was if I planned on going Greek. Flash forward to January; I would be a shrieking, glitter-loving new member of Delta Zeta. However, it was not the girls of LMU's Greek Life that initially changed my tune, but rather, the fraternity men of LMU.
A year after my RA (who is now one of my closest friends) pompously corrected a girl on our floor for saying frat instead of fraternity, I am now the person who flinches when people say "frat." I'm also the annoying girl who steals a fraternity's composite to hold it ransom. While the ransom drop was a failure, it is one of the many memories I hold with these guys, who really are some of the closest friends I have. Don't let their plaid shorts and froggles (frat goggles) fool you—they have been some of the best teachers of my college career.
1. You don't need proof on Instagram that you had a good night.
Like nearly everyone in the 15-25-year-old age range, I like Instagram. It's fun to see pictures of my friends at different schools, formal pictures, bid day pictures, and just random, fake candids. However, have you ever noticed that before going out, we spend time selecting the perfect candid to post, as well as the perfect filter and sassy caption? After posting the picture, we spend the rest of the night out, checking our Instagram likes every five minutes. We want everyone to see us and how much fun we're having, but spend more time making sure that people are seeing just that.
While I still take pictures, hanging out with a bunch of fraternity guys will quickly teach you that you don't need photo proof to prove you had a good time. This may be largely because they'll look at you with extreme confusion when you ask them to take a "fake laughing photo" with you. And on that note...
2. It's OK to spend the night in.
Maybe it's an illusion. Maybe it's experience after not being let into any parties before they rushed. Maybe it's just a fact--guys don't suffer FOMO as much as us. The best nights are not always the time there was a huge party or formal, rather the nights in with your friends. Most of my favorite memories from this semester involve eight people crowded around a table clearly meant for four, eating macaroni and cheese while playing various card and board games (with a twist). One night we played "Settlers of Catan," requiring each player to tell a stupid joke before they rolled the die. We ate tacos and talked about our greatest fears.
Moral of the story: bad jokes don't make you a bad person. And staying in with friends is always a good idea.
3. Be proud of your organization and the Greek Community.
With all of the negative media attention of Greek life right now, it is easy to believe that all guys in Greek life care about is parties, getting laid, and getting hammered. They don't contribute to the community beyond that. When so many people have this mentality, I often feel the need to justify why I went Greek, to show them that I'm not a stereotype. For Greek women, we find ourselves frequently stating, "but I'm not like the stereotypical sorority girl."
The guys rarely defend their choice, rather proving it to others by just being. They take Lip Sync seriously, they participate in other organizations' philanthropy events, they give back to the community. They show pride in being Greek--not by saying, but by doing.
4. Be honest with yourself.
Being a new member of a sorority is a lot like being a toddler. Everyone coos over you, you get lots of presents for no particular reason, and if you screw up, people just pick you up and act like nothing really happened. This is one of the best parts of being a part of a sorority, but since hanging out with fraternity guys, I've learned to hold myself accountable. They are willing to call me out on my mistakes, not out of cruel intent, but rather the complete opposite. They provide the best advice because they don't sugar coat their words--they tell you how it is. This past semester, I've learned more about myself from these guys than I ever expected. Things may appear harsh at times, but usually these tough conversations come from a place of love, pushing one another to be the best version of themselves.
5. Don't take yourself too seriously.
You'll do things that inevitably become a "friend meme" or end up in the fraternity GroupMe. You may split your pants at the on-campus Walk the Moon concert (not me, I swear). You'll be targeted during games of "Never Have I Ever." They may decide to make a new tradition of throwing you into the fountain on other people's birthdays. Just like real brothers, fraternity men pick on one another constantly. Hell, one of them has been nicknamed "Ocean Spray" by his roommate because he is so salty all the time. It's not out of mean spirit, rather a sign of a close bond.
Once you stop taking yourself so seriously, life improves significantly. Learn to laugh at yourself, take a joke, and dish it back. In all seriousness, it was their dancing in heels to Beyonce that helped them win Lip Sync.
Oh, and ramen at one in the morning is always a good idea.
