What is forgiveness?

Seems like a simple question. According to Merriam-Webster, to forgive is to “cease to feel resentment against (an offender).” And for most of my life, that is what I have allowed myself to believe.

Forgiveness is simply the act of letting something go. As I’ve learned over the past couple years, though, to truly forgive someone involves something much deeper and more enlightening than that. It involves trust, one of the most necessary and wholly human emotions that we can feel. It also has a different definition for each person, which defines itself by that individual’s personality and standards.

Forgiveness, for me, is much more intense than simply “letting it go.” Forgiveness can only begin when I allow myself to become vulnerable after a traumatic break in trust, trust that may have been building for a long time. It means making a conscious decision to love and allow for trust again.

But forgiveness for me has not only been between me and others. A lot of my year has comprised of learning how to forgive myself. Easier said than done, right?

People make mistakes. A defining character of humanity is that we are not, nor will we ever be, perfect. I’ve always been the type of person who is hyper-critical of myself, especially in the mistakes I make and how I deal with them. So, when I did screw up, it became harder and harder to forgive myself.

But as I find myself growing as a person, I have also found myself to be more understanding and empathetic to my own feelings. I have found it much more empowering to take my mistakes and turn them into an experience, one that I can learn and grow from.

You deserve to be loved. You deserve to be forgiven, and you deserve to forgive. Allow yourself to take your mistakes and empathize with your own emotions and reasons.

In today’s society, it is easy to get caught up in the stress of attempting to be perfect. It seems that there is such a deep stigma attached to the idea of flaws, thereby forcing us to see mistakes as a reason for ridicule. Instead, see them as a means of growth, learn from it, and move on with your beautiful, blessed life.

Give yourself a damn break, you deserve it.