My partner and I are currently in our third round of long distance in the almost 7 years we've been together. Though at this point we are pros in making long distance work, that doesn't mean being apart gets any easier. That first "see ya later" is always the hardest, and you have to be willing to adapt to this new relationship style. As all of us seasoned long-distancers know though, if you both want it enough, it will work. As for you newbies, don't lose hope! You may feel like you're losing your mind sometimes, but LDRs can (and do!) work.
1. The first few hours after the initial "goodbye" that kick off long distance are going to contain a full spectrum of emotions.
Knowing that this day was coming, you both probably spent the last few days attached at the hip. You've gotten your fill of each other so when you go your separate ways you don't really feel like the other person is gone. Besides, you're both confident in where you stand in the relationship and you love each other. You're both going to be just fine on your own.
2. Yeah...this doesn't last long. At least not at first.
After the first few hours of blind ignorance you realize how long it's gonna be until you see each other next and it hits you right in the feels.
3. So you may indulge a bit in some comfort foods...
4. OK, you indulge a lot, but it's fine...YOU'RE COPING.
5. But you start making it work.You've made it past the first few weeks and you are both in the swing of your respective schedules. You both are so busy that you've got enough on your plate to distract you from missing each other too much.
6. FaceTime dates have become essential, but they can also be a real pain in the ass.You are not proud to say that some arguments have occurred between the two of you because of something the technology did. "WHY ARE YOU FREEZING UP?" etc.
7. And sometimes you're both just so damn busy that you don't have time for a FaceTime convo.
8. And when you finally do get a chance to, you spend most of the time trying to capture screen shots of the other being all like:
9. Speaking of FaceTime, using it to keep your sex life alive is always pretty...interesting.
10. Like...seriously interesting.
You ever tried to hold a phone at just the right angle to make things look JUST RIGHT? Not easy. So many chin rolls, so many skin folds...
11. You talk constantly about what's going to happen when the long distance is over.
Do one of you move to the other's new city? Do you meet somewhere in the middle? Where should you both be applying for jobs?
Pros and Cons
12. So one of the good things that comes from being in a long distance relationship is it re-teaches you the value of independence.
If you're lucky, your relationship has already encouraged both of you to be individuals outside of the relationship. However, without your person being in constant proximity, it encourages you to get to know yourself over again. You can re-establish your goals, what you want out of life and how you're feeling about the relationship.
13. Other times you do feel pretty vulnerable and hey, that's okay too.
You may be your own person but your partner is your partner for a reason. They (hopefully) make you strong and are someone you can lean on. Therefore, being without them is hard.
14. Because of this sometimes you see happy couples being all together or whatever and you're just like:
15. OK, probably actually more like:
16. But hey, you've got your own life!
With your S/O gone you you can see more of your friends, go out more, take up something you've always wanted to and just have some you time.
17. Then there are bad days when you're feeling sad and your friends will convince you that going out will make you feel better.
It may.. but you also may end up in a club bathroom smelling like vodka, shame and tears.
18. But honestly the pro's outweigh the con's because every time you see (or even think) of seeing you boo again you're just like:
19. There are some days when being in a long distance relationship will make you both think, "is it even worth it?"
Why the hell are we putting ourselves through this torment?" "Why did we fall in love with each other just to get separated?" This is a NORMAL way too feel. It IS hard. No, it does not make you a bad girlfriend or boyfriend to have these thoughts occasionally. You're only human. Just make sure to always remember the end goal.
20. When you do feel this way, let the pain you feel while you're apart be a reminder of just how badly you want to be with this person.
If you both want this relationship enough, long distance is something you can AND WILL make work.