Recently, I was looking through my past articles to get ideas and found that someone had commented on an article about anxiety and what life is like with it. To briefly and probably not adequately summarize, she basically asked how she can start to feel normal again. It got me thinking and I ended up writing an extremely long reply to her. I can only hope that it helps. However, I know that my experience may not help her. It may not help anyone, but it may give some ideas to help.

Basically, I've decided to post my relpy to her, with the beginning changed only slightly to fit context better, in the hopes that not only will she see it, but that my experience will at least get the wheels turning and help at least one person. So here it is:

Honestly, I can tell you that it's not easy. For me, it took a lot of time, therapy (as much as most people don't like to admit it, myself included), good friends, bravery, and prayer. It took a LOT of soul searching to find the root of where all of the fear and anger were coming from. It took a lot of crying out to God. Asking why, asking Him to change it, asking why it had to be me. It took a lot of tears and anger. It took a lot of walls being broken down to reach the point I'm at today.

I won't lie to you, sometimes it seems like God's not listening. Sometimes it seems like He doesn't care. Sometimes, all I can hear are the fears screaming over everything I know in my head to be true. Sometimes the fears and lies start to make more sense than the truth. Anxiety is something that I still fight with on a very regular basis.

Sometimes, when the going gets rough, I get out a journal and write everything that I'm thinking. This includes all the sensored stuff that I think but don't want anyone to hear. I use it as a kind of prayer journal.

Remember that not all of the Bible is sunshine and daisies. There are times when people are screaming out to God because of the situations they are in. Job, for example, literally had everything taken away from him. There were many times that he wanted to walk away from his faith.

But I don't want you to pretend that nothing is wrong. Accept that you are feeling this anger, this frustration, this pain. I keep hearing the phrase, "The first step to recovery is acceptance," and honestly I think it's true.

For a long time, I didn't know that I was angry with God for everything I was feeling. I didn't want to accept that I even COULD be angry with Him. So it only got worse. Once I got to a point where I could accept it, my recovery really started.

But it wasn't all me. By no means was it all me. There were specific people in my life that I could be vulnerable with who helped me to reach that point. I believe that God put them in my life at that moment to help me reach that. He uses people. So don't be afraid to listen to the advice of those around you.

Find someone you trust to talk to about everything that's going on. Form a relationship where you both can just talk about anything, even the hard stuff that people try to cover up.

With time and a lot of prayer, it will get better, whether it seems like it or not. More often than not, it seems like things will only get worse, especially if you've become numb to your emotions. But, please, don't give up. Once you give up, hopelessness sets in and it gets even harder.

Take it from someone who has gotten to the point and is the long road to recovery, it does get better. Find air to breathe. Find what makes you smile, even if it's only for a second. Hold on to those things, and don't let go.

It will get better.

To the person who asked this question in the first place: I'm so sorry it took so long for me to respond. I can only hope and pray that, if you are still in that place (and I REALLY hope your not cause it sucks), this helps. If it doesn't help, I'm so sorry I couldn't do more.

To the person who wanted to ask this but was too afraid: It's okay. It takes time. And most of all, don't give up.