Laika (Underground) Pt. III

Laika (Underground) Pt. III

The third part in Laika's strange adventure.
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(Read Part Two)


It didn’t take her long to reach the edge, though clawing up its unsurprisingly unstable surface certainly slowed her escape as the sand repeatedly gave way and smoothly rolled downwards across itself. Finally over the top she groaned, spitting sand as she got her bearings again. Directly in front of her, only about a kilometre or two off, was a grouping of the same kinds of craggy rocks she had seen earlier.

Hoping against logical hope that the shopkeeper's final statement wasn’t some farcical trick Laika pushed onwards. The arid atmosphere was beginning to really get to her and if there was some way to wake herself up or get out of… whatever the hell this was… then she would gladly take it. Clamouring over and around each unwelcoming geological formation wasn’t difficult, but it wasn’t the most enjoyable experience either. She repeatedly thumped and scraped against the harsh shapes, cursing and mumbling the whole way through.

After a particularly nasty flop headfirst into the sand (swiftly followed by a creative string of salty language) she finally came across the door. Just like the last one it stood by its lonesome, in a small circular clearing free of the pesky rocks she had quickly grown to hate. If this is locked I swear I’m going to go back there and kill him. Though, to be completely honest with herself, she knew she was far too unnerved to ever go near that hole in the ground again.

She sucked in a breath, puffing her chest outwards in a show of dominance to no one in particular, and opened the door. Once again she found herself stepping into darkness. Once again she felt organs shifting as if falling into a deep, unknowable cavern below.

---

Laika coughed, feeling the course grime sticking to her face as she looked up. She was on a beach, no, an island. A perfect circular little island of light, pleasant sand. A far cry from the harsher browns of the desert world beforehand, but it was still sand. What is it with all this fucking sand?! She swung herself about to face the door only to find that nothing manmade stood in the miniature desert. Around her she could see nothing but ocean and cloudless sky stretching out for miles. The floaters and dancing atoms of her vision coated the oppressively blue scenery, a layer of TV snow she often forgot was normal in human eyes.

"Wh-what the hell?" Laika shouted into the serene emptiness that expanded endlessly in every direction. She stood up and brushed the excess sand off her clothing, still feeling the harsh particles nestling into obnoxious positions against her skin. This is even worse than the desert!

She was yelling in her head, trashing an imaginary hotel room built specifically for catharsis. On the outside she just looked sour, annoyed and vaguely disappointed by the door’s false promises of reality. Though, to be fair to the door she had been projecting her hopes onto an inanimate object, which wasn't exactly healthy behaviour.

Laika walked around the island in circles, searching desperately for something, ANYTHING to break the monotony of the latest world she had fallen into. She kicked at the ground, little grains dispersing into the air before showering down into the calm waters below. Each impact a tiny ripple almost indiscernible to a human observer.

Her foot tapped, her nostril twitched. She needed a cigarette. A loose cigarette was yanked greedily from her pocket, followed by the Zippo lighter that at one time had made her feel so cool and adult. She lit up and puffed nervously, almost cartoonish in her anxious jittering. “There’s nowhere to go! At least in the desert I could walk around or SOMETHING!” She shouted, pulling the cigarette from her lips to tap the sullen ashes out over the water before returning to suckling it once again.

She stood there, internally stumbling through one angry lack of possibilities after another. Her first cigarette fizzled to its filter, tossed aside for another as she stood there on the pointless little island.

Laika glanced at the water, a weird, stupid, impossible thought growing in her head. She wiggled her toes in her crusty shoes and shook her head. Well, I guess I’ll find out if I’m dreaming or not.

She walked forwards into the water, following the downward slope of the sand as the waterline crept up her body. It was cool, but not cold. Soothing almost actually. Cigarette still hanging from her mouth her head disappeared beneath the glasslike surface with nothing but a gentle plop to mark her passing.

Okay, definitely dreaming. She thought to herself, and with good reason. She could breathe perfectly fine. Her walking was slowed as she made her way to where the ocean floor leveled out into a mixture of muck and sand, plumes of dirty water kicked up with every step, but she could breathe with ease. The sounds around her were still muffled as they should have been, and when she tried to speak it gurgled and formed bubbles as was normal. Yet there she was, walking and breathing as if strolling through a park in slow motion.

Glittering streaks of light pierced the depths creating shimmering pillars around her as she walked steadily forward to nowhere in particular. Though there was nothing in the way of fish or crabs or any other marine animals for that matter there was a great deal of flora to admire. Seaweed and other strange plants of varying colours rippled as if caught in the gentlest breeze. Her cigarette, which had gone out by this point, floated away as Laika’s mouth hung slightly open, her anger and fear from before almost drifting away with whatever light tides this strange place experienced.

She could have been wandering for hours, days even, mesmerised as she was by the oceanic wonderland she found herself exploring. All time disappeared, all anxiety dissipated, as if caught within some sort of lilting trance, a siren’s song of scenery.

Laika was almost angry when she found her leisurely stroll abruptly interrupted by a large, solid object. She stepped back, rubbing her forehead where it had thunked against whatever she had walked into. To her great surprise, and sudden joy, it was another door. Alone and in the strangest of places, as usual. It was a little worrying that the phrase “as usual” could now be applied to this situation, but there wasn't much she could do aside from continuing on.

Taking one final glance around the serene wanderlust that had occupied her mind for a now unknowable stretch of time, Laika grasped the handle and made her way inside.


End Part III

Cover Image Credit: wallpapercave.com

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35 Major Life Facts According To Nick Miller

"All booze is good booze, unless it's weak booze."
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Fact: If you watch "New Girl," you love Nick Miller.

You can't help it. He's an adorable, lovable mess of a man and you look forward to seeing him and his shenanigans each week. While living the infamous and incomparable life of Nick Miller, and obviously Julius Pepperwood— he has learned many valuable laws of the land. And, although Nick refuses to learn anything from anyone besides his mysterious, old Asian friend Tran, he does have a few lessons he'd like to teach us.

Here are 35 facts of life according to 'Nick Milla Nick Milla':

1. Drinking keeps you healthy.

"I'm not gonna get sick. No germ can live in a body that is 65% beer."

2. Dinosaurs never existed.

"I don't believe dinosaurs existed. I've seen the science. I don't believe it."


3. A paper bag is a bank.

"A bank is just a paper bag but with fancier walls."


4. Having sex is similar to delivering mail.

"I'm like a mailman, except instead of mail it's hot sex that I deliver."

5. Moonwalking is a foolproof way to get out of any awkward situation.

Jess (about Nick): "Now he won't even talk to me. I saw him this morning and he just panic moonwalked away from me. He does that sometimes."

6. Using a movie reference is also a great way.

Cece: "Come on, get up!"

Nick: "No, I don't dance. I'm from that town in "Footloose."

7. There's no reason to wash towels.

Nick: "I don’t wash the towel. The towel washes me. Who washes a towel?"

Schmidt: "You never wash your towel?"

Nick: "What am I gonna do? Wash the shower next? Wash a bar of soap?"

8. Exes are meant to be avoided at all costs (especially if/unless they're Caroline)

"I don't deal with exes, they're part of the past. You burn them swiftly and you give their ashes to Poseidon."

9. IKEA furniture is not as intimidating as it looks.

"I'm building you the dresser. I love this stuff. It's like high-stakes LEGOs."

10. You don't need forks if you have hands.

Jess: "That's gross. Get a fork, man."

Nick: "I got two perfectly good forks at the end of my arms!"

11. Sex has a very specific definition.


"It's not sex until you put the straw in the coconut."

12. Doors are frustrating.

"I will push if I want to push! Come on! I hate doors!"

13. All booze is good booze.

"Can I get an alcohol?"

14. ...unless it's weak booze.

"Schmidt, that is melon flavored liquor! That is 4-proof! That is safe to drink while you're pregnant!"

15. Writers are like pregnant women.

Jess: "You know what that sound is? It's the sound of an empty uterus."

Nick: "I can top that easily. I'm having a hard time with my zombie novel."

Jess: "Are you really comparing a zombie novel to my ability to create life?"

Nick: "I'm a writer, Jess. We create life."

16. All bets must be honored.

"There is something serious I have to tell you about the future. The name of my first-born child needs to be Reginald VelJohnson. I lost a bet to Schmidt."

17. Adele's voice is like a combination of Fergie and Jesus.

"Adele is amazing."

18. Beyoncé is extremely trustworthy.

"I'd trust Beyoncé with my life. We be all night."

19. Fish, on the other hand, are not.


“Absolutely not. You know I don’t trust fish! They breathe water. That's crazy!"

20. Bar mitzvahs are terrifying.

Schmidt: "It's a bar mitzvah!"

Nick: "I am NOT watching a kid get circumcised!"

21. ...so are blueberries.

Jess: "So far, Nick Miller's list of fears is sharks, tap water, real relationships..."

Nick: "And blueberries."

22. Take your time with difficult decisions. Don't be rash.


Jess: "You care about your burritos more than my children, Nick?"

Nick: "You're putting me in a tough spot!"

23. Getting into shape is not easy.

"I mean, I’m not doing squats or anything. I’m trying to eat less donuts."

24. We aren't meant to talk about our feelings.

"If we needed to talk about feelings, they would be called talkings."


25. We're all a little bit too hard on ourselves.

"The enemy is the inner me."

26. Freezing your underwear is a good way to cool off.


"Trust me, I'm wearing frozen underpants right now and I feel amazing. I'm gonna grab some old underpants and put a pair into the freezer for each of you."

27. Public nudity is normal.

"Everbody has been flashed countless times."

28. Alcohol is a cure-all.


"You treat an outside wound with rubbing alcohol. You treat an inside wound with drinking alcohol."

29. Horses are aliens.

"I believe horses are from outer-space."


30. Turtles should actually be called 'shell-beavers.'

Jess: "He calls turtles 'shell-beavers."

Nick: "Well, that's what they should be called."

31. Trench coats are hot.


"This coat has clean lines and pockets that don't quit, and it has room for your hips. And, when I wear it, I feel hot to trot!"


32. Sparkles are too.

"Now, my final bit of advice, and don't get sensitive on this, but you've got to change that top it's terrible and you've got to throw sparkles on. Sparkles are in. SPARKLES ARE IN."

33. Introspection can lead to a deeper knowing of oneself.

"I'm not convinced I know how to read. I've just memorized a lot of words."


34. It's important to live in the moment.

"I know this isn't gonna end well but the middle part is gonna be awesome."


35. Drinking makes you cooler.

Jess: "Drinking to be cool, Nick? That's not a real thing."

Nick: "That's the only thing in the world I know to be true."

Cover Image Credit: Hollywood Reporter

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The Zodiac Signs As Bath And Body Works Scents

Just in case you want to know what scent you are!

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Bath and Body Works fans could be considered to be part of a cult. The scents draw you in as if calling your name, if you ever
wondered what your scent should be based on your zodiac sign, here it is!

Aries: Country Apple

The rather impulsive Aries takes their time picking and choosing the scents from Bath and Body Works. The soothing scent of a fresh apple orchard is just what they need on a daily basis to keep up with their shenanigans.

Taurus: Japanese Cherry Blossom

The personality of a Taurus is stubborn, or what I like to say, is stuck in their ways. When they first discovered this scent in middle school, this was it. This is the only scent you will find anywhere around a Taurus.

Libra: Pink Chiffon

Pink Chiffon is another cult classic. This best selling scent went out of style for a hot second but is back and bigger than ever.

Leo: Thousand Wishes

Thousand Wishes is a purr-fect scent for a Leo. The light scent adornes the wearer just the right amount to get the desired reaction from those around them.

Aquarius: Be Enchanted

The rather cold personality of an Aquarius is counteracted by the loving scent of Be Enchanted. The scent is just enough tenderness for the wearer to be relaxed.

Gemini: Moonlight Path

Gemini's constantly change their favorite scent and are in and out of the store almost weekly to by new lotions, candles, and body washes. You will never see a full empty bottle of anything, however, Moonlight Path is the scent they keep coming back to again and again.

Virgo: Sea Island Cotton

The clean personality of a Virgo must be matched with the clean scent of Sea Island Cotton.

Capricorn: Cucumber Melon

Another clean scent of Cucumber Melon is the exact thing a Capricorn needs. The balance and calming scents are what make this scent so attractive to a Capricorn.

Scorpio: Paris Amour

The light scent is what you would expect from an extreme sign like a Scorpio. The scent lightly washes over the wearer in almost a cloud that

Sagittarius: Cashmere Glow

Cashmere Glow is a perfect scent for the winter sign. The vanilla and golden peach scent is just the mixture that creates the perfect accessory in the chilly months.

Pisces: Warm Vanilla Sugar

This lovely scent accentuates the lovely personality of a Pisces. They can never get enough of this scent so they just keep buying and buying until they have a full stockpile.

Cancer: Velvet Sugar

Velvet Sugar is the perfect blend of red velvet and strawberries and a Cancer is always changing their mind. The wearer can tell if it is a more red velvet or strawberry kind of day, and that is the balance that they need in their lives.

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