Dear Females of America,

I understand that competition is normal part of life. But while feeling competitive and competing in competitions is "natural", that doesn't make it right in every circumstance. Unless you are in a pageant, sporting event, or other form of ACTUAL contest, competing against each other isn't necessary. I am not personally a fan of beauty pageants, but that is another rant for another day.

In this day and age, all females do is compete against each other and put one another down. And this is not how it should be. Everyone has strengths and differences from one another and that sets us apart, but does not make one or the other superior. All girls have different talents and attributes about themselves they think is better or worse than another person. But it becomes an issue when every day girls wake up, look in the mirror and figure out what they can do today to make them better than the next girl.

You can admire your own strengths and talents, but should not put down another persons'.

I am guilty when it comes to this and lately I have been questioning myself about it. As females, we are forever scoping out other girls and deeply analyzing them and comparing ourselves to them. Once the analyzed data is stored in the brain, girls plot and scheme ways to become better than they girl they analyzed. Girls use this information to figure out how they can become prettier, skinnier, funnier and more liked than another person.

And if you don't like the girl you analyzed? It's a completely new ball game. Not only are you trying to better yourself in competition to this girl, but you also find yourself bashing against thing girl whether it be out loud, to yourself, or even unintentionally.

I have a friend who always tells me to embrace my "flower power". Whenever she has said that to me I immediately imagine that concept of girl power. She would tell me to embrace my "flower power" when I was down or feeling less than perfect. When thinking it as an equivalent to girl power, wouldn't that mean embracing every girls strengths, weaknesses, beauty, and power as a whole and supporting one another? Isn't girl power strength and empowerment of females?

All over the media you see things about bullying, body image, and low self confidence issues. Am I the only one who thinks females competing against each other is a factor in the situation we all currently are enslaved to?

It is a fact of life that some people are smarter, stronger, skinnier and better than you at certain things, but that does not make you any less of a lovable, amazing human being.

Girls come in different shapes, sizes, colors, and personalities. Each girl is made of a different blueprint and that should be embraced.

After a break up the guy I was with got with what I thought as an upgrade. For a while, I would (sometimes I still do) compare myself to her and think this is why he chose her over me or wonder what makes her so much better than me— and then comes the trash talk— even if somethings are valid and of reason to hate her.

And the same goes with every other girl you could put yourself against.

Why do I think she's better than me? She's prettier. Well, that's fine. Just because I think she's prettier that does not mean she isn't looking at me and thinking that I am prettier than she is. While I may be sitting and wishing I could pull of curly, brown hair, she could be sitting wishing she had long, straight, blonde hair. While I am sitting wishing I had a thigh gap, she could be wishing her thighs touched.

While thinking about the situation itself, it probably happens to us more often than we are willing to believe. Why try to compete with someone who wishes they could be like you and vise versa?

Next time you feel the urge to compare yourself to someone, whether you feel you are better or worse, consider a few things. Ask yourself why you think she superior to you. Then turn it to her perspective and consider if there is anything she may envy you for.

Now trust me, I know after reading this article basically every one who reads this won't never compete with a girl ever again. This one article isn't going to bring all females together and create a bond over embracing our differences, but it will give us all something to think about. I will probably get that gut jealous feeling over and girl want to be better than her in the next few days, but this time I will stop and think about it.

And I hope you do too.

This is what everyone thinks but mostly never wants to say.

From,

A Fellow Female of America