When are we too old for relationship labels?

I Shouldn't Have To Call Someone My Boyfriend For Them To Take The Relationship Seriously

No matter what you call it, it's still a relationship.

595
views

So, say you meet a guy or girl and you guys hit it off. Actually, you guys have been hitting it off for, let's say, four months. Too short? Maybe six? (If we get too far, my point will have been lost). At first, you guys were taking things slow and transitioning into exclusivity but now, it's just the two of you. You both are fully aware and completely trusting of the other.

But now what? You guys aren't boyfriend and girlfriend? The only talk you two had was about being exclusive. But what is exclusive? Ideally, it's focusing on just each other, but not boyfriend and girlfriend. Because these are two labels that you aren't ready for, but you're entirely ready for what comes with the labels. Let's say you have or have not met the parents, but what is that to you nowadays? You have each other over for family events and what not. But the moment someone asks if you are dating someone or in a relationship, you quickly shut that down. "But I saw you with ____ the other day?" "Yeah, we've been seeing each other." Okay? But you guys are exclusive to seeing each other, right? You both are expecting so much from each other and the "relationship" but you won't give it the credit it deserves?

Oh yeah, and don't forget, social media cannot know about them yet. All your friends and family have met them, but social media is a no-go. Why? Some would say "hoes" and maybe others are protecting themselves from getting hurt and/or embarrassed, but personally, I'd go with the former choice.

I think the world of dating now has become so complex that not even I, an almost 22-year-old, can keep up with. And I think, what exactly has become so hard about it? I get the trial period of a relationship to see if you two are somewhat compatible. I just don't get the lengths of them and I think people are a bit too dramatic about the length nowadays. First, you have to make sure you like them enough to be exclusive, then spend the next few months making sure everyone else in your life likes them. Then you spend a few months taking trips together or even going through a period of which you see each other on a different level. But after everything has become comfortable between you two, when is enough, enough? When you guys are getting into the everyday routine of a relationship, when do you actually call it a "relationship?"

If you are spending most weekends with someone, meeting (or not meeting, not a specific criterion for some) their family, going on various dates with them, communicating throughout the day, meeting all (or any) of their close friends, being each other's emotional support, sleeping together, and going on trips with them to places that are at least an hour outside of you two's range; I'm sorry to say this, but you two are boyfriend and girlfriend (I feel like I'm in 6th grade again saying these words), you are in a relationship with one another, and that shouldn't have to be communicated. I understand there should be some sort of talk between the transition of you two cutting yourselves off from the dating world, but is that not enough? Are effort and time not enough for you to think that maybe you guys are actually a thing without having to have that conversation?

This thinking is either old-school or unrealistic or maybe a bit of both? To be fair, I am a very up-front kind of person and maybe that's my downfall when I muse on the idea of dating. If I am doing all of the aforementioned things, you and I are dating and I don't want to feel as if I have to hold your hand and baby you by calling you "boyfriend" for you to take me seriously. So, when are we all too old to have to use labels for us to take each other seriously?

Popular Right Now

32 Reasons Why I Love My Best Friend

The list stops at 32, but I could go on forever.
110512
views

My best friend is my soul mate, and I am so lucky that this crazy world brought us together.

1. She has and always will put up with my ridiculousness.

2. She has seen me cry, and I have seen her cry, and we are both ugly criers.

3. We can sit in silence for 20 minutes, and it’s not weird.

4. But most of the time we cannot shut up.

5. This includes three-hour phone and Skype calls about anything and everything.

6. I know what she’s going to say before she says it.

7. Eye contact is all that is needed to communicate sometimes. This definitely comes in handy when we have an opinion that shouldn’t be verbalized.

8. Even when she laughs at me, I still feel loved.

9. We find the dumbest things funny.

10. We have reoccurring jokes that normal people just find odd.

11. She accepts every part of me including my flaws.

12. She talks me through hard situations without fail.

13. She tells me when I’m being unreasonable, and I don’t get mad.

14. She listens to me whine about the same guy and still hasn’t given up on me.

15. But gets more excited than anyone when a guy treats me right.

16. But you have both agreed that life would be easier if we could just marry each other.

17. What’s mine is hers, and what’s hers is mine.

18. This includes, but is not limited to clothes AND food (and that is a big deal for me).

19. She knows exactly how to cheer me up. Most of the time cupcakes do the trick but if they don't, somehow she make me feel better with insides jokes or just plain silence.

20. She has seen me at my worst and still loves me.

21. She will see movies meant for 8-year-olds with me and we will, no doubt, laugh the loudest.

22. She will watch"The Bachelor" with me and will secretly love it. Don’t worry ... No judgment from this side.

23. She will teach me the art of taking a good picture.

24. She gets me out of my comfort zone and makes me do things that I am iffy about at first.

25. But hanging out in our pajamas and talking all-night isn’t abnormal either.

26. Being apart for a long time is no biggie because when we are reunited it’s like nothing had separated us!

27. We plan on traveling the world together.

28. We plan on being roommates in the future.

29. I love her family and she loves mine.

30. We fight like sisters and then we apologize and get over it.

31. We talk about the craziness we will participate in together when we are 80.

32. I can’t imagine my life without her.

Cover Image Credit: brokenbutfree.org

Related Content

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

I'm Learning To Appreciate Low Key Dates As Much As Fancy Ones

My boyfriend once told me he considered Taco Bell drive thrus and funny Youtube video binges dates, and I didn't really appreciate that until recently.

121
views

When I was little, I had really grand ideas of romance and friendship. Older kids went on big fancy dates, with cute dresses, flowers, and spontaneous situations. When I came to be that age though, the idea of fancy dates became kind of lost on me, but I still liked the idea of big fancy dates if the opportunity ever arose. I'm one of those people who loves to create grand expectations for themselves, builds situations and ideas up before they even happen.

However, as I've grown up, started earning my own income, and learned to appreciate the person more than the setting, I've learned to appreciate the cheap, low effort dates for what they are, time with a person you care about a lot, with the added bonus of more money staying in your pocket.

My boyfriend and I are long distance, so a lot of our dates are just eating dinner together over Facebook video call and attempting to synchronize funny Youtube videos we can laugh at together. We don't get a lot of opportunities to see each other in person during the school year, so we try to make the best out of what we have. As much as I love the fancy parts of dressing up and trying new foods that come with what I guess would be considered more traditional dates, I feel more comfortable and relaxed with our low effort, low budget video call dates. A lot of that has translated into us being more comfortable around one another, something that definitely adds to our dynamic when we are around each other.

When we are together, we like to plan these big fancy dates, but we don't always follow through. Sometimes, having no plan is more fun than sticking to one for the whole day, and figuring out fun stuff to do together. Overall, it just seems like spontaneity helps us try new things and avoid just doing the same old movie date we like to do whenever we see each other.

My boyfriend recently told me he considers anytime we've gone to Taco Bell together a date, and we go there together a lot. At first, I thought this was silly, but then I thought of the drives we go on after or the times we've just sat there, eating and talking without having to yell over a hundred other conversations. Nothing means more to me than honest and open communication and discussion, so it started to make sense to me that we would consider all these drive-thru runs dates. We always seem to come away from them knowing a little more about the other person. Even if the food isn't exactly Michelin star quality, the relationship definitely is.

As a romantic person, I love dates of all kinds, but in finally learning to embrace drive-thru dates, I've remembered what the whole point of a date is. A date isn't for the cute, aesthetic stories, or a reason to get dressed up (even though I really like that part).

The whole point of a date is to get to know the person better.

Even though I've been with my boyfriend for about a year and a half, there's still a lot about him I have yet to know, and I feel like there's no better setting for that then when we're at our most comfortable. And sitting on our beds two states away from each other on Facebook video chat, or stuffing our faces with cheap fast food in a parked car in front of my hometown's lake seem like pretty comfortable places if you ask me.

Related Content

Facebook Comments