I Shouldn't Have To Call Someone My Boyfriend For Them To Take The Relationship Seriously

I Shouldn't Have To Call Someone My Boyfriend For Them To Take The Relationship Seriously

No matter what you call it, it's still a relationship.

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So, say you meet a guy or girl and you guys hit it off. Actually, you guys have been hitting it off for, let's say, four months. Too short? Maybe six? (If we get too far, my point will have been lost). At first, you guys were taking things slow and transitioning into exclusivity but now, it's just the two of you. You both are fully aware and completely trusting of the other.

But now what? You guys aren't boyfriend and girlfriend? The only talk you two had was about being exclusive. But what is exclusive? Ideally, it's focusing on just each other, but not boyfriend and girlfriend. Because these are two labels that you aren't ready for, but you're entirely ready for what comes with the labels. Let's say you have or have not met the parents, but what is that to you nowadays? You have each other over for family events and what not. But the moment someone asks if you are dating someone or in a relationship, you quickly shut that down. "But I saw you with ____ the other day?" "Yeah, we've been seeing each other." Okay? But you guys are exclusive to seeing each other, right? You both are expecting so much from each other and the "relationship" but you won't give it the credit it deserves?

Oh yeah, and don't forget, social media cannot know about them yet. All your friends and family have met them, but social media is a no-go. Why? Some would say "hoes" and maybe others are protecting themselves from getting hurt and/or embarrassed, but personally, I'd go with the former choice.

I think the world of dating now has become so complex that not even I, an almost 22-year-old, can keep up with. And I think, what exactly has become so hard about it? I get the trial period of a relationship to see if you two are somewhat compatible. I just don't get the lengths of them and I think people are a bit too dramatic about the length nowadays. First, you have to make sure you like them enough to be exclusive, then spend the next few months making sure everyone else in your life likes them. Then you spend a few months taking trips together or even going through a period of which you see each other on a different level. But after everything has become comfortable between you two, when is enough, enough? When you guys are getting into the everyday routine of a relationship, when do you actually call it a "relationship?"

If you are spending most weekends with someone, meeting (or not meeting, not a specific criterion for some) their family, going on various dates with them, communicating throughout the day, meeting all (or any) of their close friends, being each other's emotional support, sleeping together, and going on trips with them to places that are at least an hour outside of you two's range; I'm sorry to say this, but you two are boyfriend and girlfriend (I feel like I'm in 6th grade again saying these words), you are in a relationship with one another, and that shouldn't have to be communicated. I understand there should be some sort of talk between the transition of you two cutting yourselves off from the dating world, but is that not enough? Are effort and time not enough for you to think that maybe you guys are actually a thing without having to have that conversation?

This thinking is either old-school or unrealistic or maybe a bit of both? To be fair, I am a very up-front kind of person and maybe that's my downfall when I muse on the idea of dating. If I am doing all of the aforementioned things, you and I are dating and I don't want to feel as if I have to hold your hand and baby you by calling you "boyfriend" for you to take me seriously. So, when are we all too old to have to use labels for us to take each other seriously?

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10 Reasons 'Break Up With Your Girlfriend, I'm Bored,' Had Me Saying, 'No Thank U, Next'

Break up with that self-pleasing attitude if you're that bored, then.

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You can call me crazy, but it ain't right for Ariana Grande to be singing about breaking someone's relationship up because she's "bored." I have listened to the song multiple times, and watched the music video countless times as well.

To those people saying, "It's about Malcolm, how she wanted to break up with Pete because of him," where are you seeing that in the video? In the lyrics? She's literally dancing and making googly eyes at a man who is RIGHT next to his girlfriend! I'm sorry, but in no way was this song necessary or even warranted.

Especially with today's already prominent hookup culture, the last thing we need is Ariana teaching girls how to be home wreckers, too. If you are really that bored, go for a jog, get a dog, get on Tinder, and meet someone who is ACTUALLY available. Putting your emotions and energy into someone who is already taken is not only toxic to them, but it can lead to some very damaging emotional abuse on yourself, too.

But, if that's not enough to convince you, here are 10 other reasons why "Break Up With Your Girlfriend, I'm Bored," had me saying, "NO Thank U, NEXT."

1. This is literally right after her breakup with Pete

And I get it, sometimes relationships don't work out and sometimes it's very easy to move on. But honestly? This is all a little much. How would she feel if someone was singing this about Pete or Malcolm while they were together?

2. She's teaching women to disrespect themselves

All this song seems to care about is getting under someone who has a girlfriend. "Break up with your girlfriend, I'm bored. You can hit it in the morning, like it's yours." Soooo, it's not his, but you're letting him take up a semi permanent residency inside you anyway?? Girl, EW!

3. She's teaching women it's okay to undermine other women

Nothing says female empowerment and "women are the future" like stealing another girl's man right out from under her. Yay, women.

4. She's teaching men they can easily be "stolen" from their girlfriends

She's bored, she's hot, and clearly she's ready for you to hit it...and, what's your girlfriend doing? Bitching at you for being on your phone while you're with her? God, this seems like a no brainer.

5. While also teaching them that it's OK to cheat if they're not with the "right" person

You can fall out of love or decide that you're not into the person you're in a relationship with, but that does NOT mean you can go be bored with someone else without being SINGLE first. Be an adult, face the hard stuff, and let them down easy. I'd rather be broken up with than cheated on, any day, hands down.

6. She's teaching impressionable children the wrong way to handle love emotions

The appropriate way to deal with liking someone that is already taken is not by going up to them and demanding they break up with them because you're bored and you'd be a better fit.

7. She's teaching everyone that if you've been through the mill, you can do whatever you want without consequences 

I feel like everyone is using her past failed relationships and heartbreaks, (the concert shooting, Malcolm's suicide, etc) as a free ride for her to act however she wants. Sorry, but as much sympathy as I have for you, you are NOT laying a fingernail on my boyfriend. Thank u, next.

8. She's teaching a generation of women to lose their self-respect

My parents have raised me to always treat my body as a temple, to not hurt it, or degrade it in any way. I value my body and the beauty of it. I'm not about to let some idiot with a girl at home completely wreck my safe space and comfort zone because that's what everyone else is doing.

9. She's teaching why sex sells and abstinence doesn't

Honestly, what's sexier? A girl who's literally ready for you to have sex with her at the drop of a hat, regardless of if you're single or not, or someone who wants to be in a relationship already or even save sex for marriage?

10. She's trying too hard to be something she's not

And that, by far, is the worst thing you could do. Regardless of how horrible her offense was with this song, that truly cannot be how she really feels, and for her to be singing about it, is a shame all in its own. Dear Ari, break up with that self-pleasing attitude, I'm bored, and you're tacky.

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Both Guys And Girls Have It Hard Finding Love, Stop Complaining

Nothing is easy, so stop throwing your own pity party.

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Love is in the air, and so is complaining. Gosh, sometimes being around young adults is exhausting. Basically, all you do is complain about money, or how you are still single/bashing your s/o. When I'm around either my fellow single ladies (or men) the same sort of concept always comes up. "[Insert gender here] have it so easy". Um...sorry bro, that's not the case.

From a girl's point of view, yeah, we may have it easy because we can doll ourselves up with makeup, and flaunt our physical features. But that doesn't mean we have men running toward us left and right. Some guys are jerks and don't know how to treat women. Some guys just want girls for sex, or for their body in general. Do we want that? Yes and no, but when it comes to settling down, that's the tricky part.

From a guy's point of view (now I am clearly not a guy, but this is just an estimate of what I have gathered from then) they have no makeup which already puts girls at an advantage. Girls just wanting to "hit and run", or wanting to sleep around a bit/be free and not committed while you want something more, psycho ex-girlfriends, and her friends. The list could go on, and it gets more complicated as it goes.

As you can probably see by now, guys and girls don't have it easy. The struggles are different, but all are pretty valid in my opinion. Though this article is like a rant, I hope that you know to think twice about saying "who has it better" because in reality, (love related or not) no one has it easy, and the life that others display has a lot more behind it than meets the eye.

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