I am one hundred percent a people pleaser. I have been a people pleaser for as long as I can remember. Even as a young child I can remember doing what my mother told me not because I knew it was right, but because I knew it would make her happy. If I have a fatal flaw, it is probably people pleasing.
Over the years I’ve gotten into quite the bad habit of saying yes to absolutely everyone who asks me to do anything. Don’t get me wrong, I think it is so great to be a servant to others and to jump on the chance to help. But doing it to the point where helping others is hurting you is completely unhealthy. It is essential to learn the difference between healthy helping and harmful helping.
For me, this was a very hard lesson to learn and one that I still struggle to practice. Here are some questions I ask myself when deciding when to say no.
1. Am I directly involved in this situation?
If it isn’t really my problem, I probably shouldn’t meddle my way into a situation. It gets a little bit more complex if I am asked to be involved in a situation, but this is why it’s important to know when to say no.
2. Am I really needed to do this?
This question is similar to the one above. If the situation is one of my own creation, I would say that I am needed. If someone else created the situation, it’s probably best that I say no.
3. Would I be disappointed if I wasn’t involved?
Sometimes I really like to be a part of things, especially things that I find meaningful. If I would feel regret from not being involved, it is something that I should say yes to. If I would feel guilt from not being involved, I should probably say no.
4. Is this really beneficial to my well-being or schedule?
If something is overwhelming to me in an unhealthy way, I need to find a way to change it or cut it out of my life completely. I should do things that are beneficial and helpful, not things that are unhealthy and harmful.
Recently, I have come to the conclusion that I am very busy and I am only going to get busier. I have been writing for the Odyssey for over a year now. It has been a really great experience for me, and has really challenged my creativity and writing abilities. I would not trade my experience with the Odyssey for anything, but I know that it’s now time to say no. Thank you to everyone who has supported me along this journey; you have kept me going. And thank you to the Odyssey for this great opportunity that was presented to me.
Good bye and God bless!