There's a worship song that says, "There may be pain in the night, but joy comes in the morning". I've grown up singing this lyric over and over.
It's hard to sing sometimes, though.
Sometimes I get fed up with continuous talk of "joy coming in the morning", because I wonder if anyone else is stuck in the "pain in the night" like me.
I know that pain all too well.
I know the pain of losing a loved one and wishing you could have done something to stop it.
I know the pain of not feeling good enough.
I know the pain of feeling distant from God.
I know the pain of hurting someone deeply.
I know the pain of being hurt deeply.
I know the pain of broken friendships.
I know the pain of insecurity.
I know the pain of being stripped of any pride.
I know the pain of feeling different from everyone else.
I know the pain of the mundane, of the repetitive lull each day brings.
I know the pain of unmet expectations.
Yeah, believe me... I know the pain.
But I also know the joy, that joy in the morning we sing about.
I know the joy that hope of eternal life brings.
I know the joy of refusing to be bound by people's expectations of me.
I know the joy of returning to Christ's embrace after wandering too long without Him.
I know the joy of forgiveness, both of myself and of others.
I know the joy of looking back at painful times to see God's purposeful hand in protecting me from a toxic friend group.
I know the joy of accepting my flaws, failures, and mistakes as qualities uniquely designed by my Creator.
I know the joy of humility.
I know the joy of finally neglecting comparison.
I know the joy of recognizing little blessings in each day and living with gratitude for grace to breathe one more breath.
I know the joy of learning to accept the beauty of messed up plans.
I know the pain, but I also know the joy.
If it's dark where you are and it hurts to sing about a joy you're convinced doesn't exist, anticipate its arrival anyway. Hope for this joy that only Christ brings to the aching, hurting hearts amidst the pain of the night. And remember that Jesus works on His own timetable. But He is faithful and will not leave you where you are.